IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows Paris Metro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words

The line graph shows Paris Metro station passengers. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words
#line #paris #metro #station #passengers #summarise #information #report #features #comparisons
The line graph shows the
number
 of passengers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Paris
Correct article usage
the Paris
show examples
 Metro Station
according
Add the preposition
according to
show examples
 the time schedule.
Overall
,
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
 station works from 6
am
Correct your spelling
a.m.
 to 10
pm
Correct your spelling
p.m
.
Moreover
, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first sight, it can be seen that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 from 8.00-9.00 am and 18.00-19.00 are the busiest time. From the
starting
Replace the word
start
show examples
 of the
day
Add a comma
day,
show examples
 only 100
people
 visit
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
 and
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 additional 3
hours
 that
number
 is increased to 200.
Furthermore
, approximately at 8.30
number
 of
people
 shows its peak at 400 passengers. Afterwards, for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 two
hours
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
people
 decreases
just
Change preposition
to just
show examples
 under 200.
Furthermore
, until 12:00 numbers are increasing,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 for 3
hours
 they stay stable at 300.
Nevertheless
,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 plummets to its initial point. Having decreased
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 16:00, at 18;30 it soars up to the previous highest peak after half an hour it soars back to 100.
In addition
, it for the
last
 2
hours
 until closing it flactuates.
Finally
, stops at 100
number
 of
people
.
Submitted by zarinadalab on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "soars" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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