It is better for people to be unemplyed than be employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#people #job

I totally disagree

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

people

choose to be unemployed rather than be employed with a

job

they

Verb problem

are

show examples

not

interest

Replace the word

interested

show examples

in. A reason for

this

is financial security, as

people

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

job

, they ensure to have a stable income source, which provides oneself financially compared to

people

who choose to be unemployed,

this

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not

allows

Change the verb form

allow

show examples

them to have

Change the article

show examples

income source. Another reason for

this

people

who have a stable income source can be able to prepare to follow their dream

job

ass

Correct your spelling

show examples

they could

saving

Wrong verb form

save

show examples

money to acquire

impotant

Correct your spelling

important

skills depending on their dream

job

requirement skills thereby they have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to get jobs that they

are enjoy

Change the verb form

enjoy

show examples

Submitted by baonguyet3110 on Mon Nov 06 2023

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task response

Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and previews the main points you will discuss in the essay.

task response

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Organize your essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and strong transitions between ideas.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.

grammatical range

There are some errors in your grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

112 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
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Topic Vocabulary:

Job satisfaction
Mental and emotional well-being
Stress
Depression
Financial instability
Quality of life
Job dissatisfaction
Career goals
Skills and experiences
Networking opportunities
Social isolation
Productivity

What to do next:

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It is better for people to be unemplyed than be employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and society?

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern technologies such as smart phones and computers. What is the cause of this, and what are some possible solutions? cause : Lack of knowledge Solutions : Guided by their kids and Other places

Today more and more people want things instantle (eg goods, service,...) Why is it? Is it positive or negative development?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?