It is better for people to be unemplyed than be employed with a job they do not enjoy. To what extend do you agree or disagree

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I totally disagree
about
Change preposition
that
show examples
people
Use synonyms
choose to be unemployed rather than be employed with a
job
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they
do
Verb problem
are
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not
interest
Replace the word
interested
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in. A reason for
this
Linking Words
is financial security, as
people
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having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a
job
Use synonyms
, they ensure to have a stable income source, which provides oneself financially compared to
people
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who choose to be unemployed,
this
Linking Words
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
them to have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
income source. Another reason for
this
Linking Words
is
people
Use synonyms
who have a stable income source can be able to prepare to follow their dream
job
Use synonyms
ass
Correct your spelling
as
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they could
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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money to acquire
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
skills depending on their dream
job
Use synonyms
requirement skills thereby they have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to get jobs that they
are enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoy
show examples
.
Submitted by baonguyet3110 on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and previews the main points you will discuss in the essay.
task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and strong transitions between ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
There are some errors in your grammar. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tenses, and article usage.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Job satisfaction
  • Mental and emotional well-being
  • Stress
  • Depression
  • Financial instability
  • Quality of life
  • Job dissatisfaction
  • Career goals
  • Skills and experiences
  • Networking opportunities
  • Social isolation
  • Productivity
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