IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many countries, traditional food is replaced by international fast food. This has adverse effect families, individuals and society. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #effect #families #individuals #society
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In different places of the world , Local foods are less patronized compared to foreign fast
food
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 has really affected persons and communities at large. In my opinion, I agree that National foods are less
sort
Correct your spelling
sought
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 after compared to Foreign fast
food
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. To start with, The prices of Locally made dishes, are cheaper than international fast
food
Use synonyms
 .
Low income
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Low-income
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 workers prefer to make their dishes at home by using the available spices and ingredients. It's important to note that, by doing
this
Linking Words
 the
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
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 worker is saving a big junk of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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money . The quality of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national
made
Verb problem
apply
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food
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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is always complete in nutrients which tends to
benefits
Change the verb
benefit
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 the body more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Foreign fast
food
Use synonyms
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 usually health risky and made of
junks
Fix the agreement mistake
junk
show examples
 which can be very delirious to human health. In conclusion
Submitted by chikashabetty on

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Task Response
The essay provides a clear opinion on the given statement and attempts to support it with reasons. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific examples to reinforce the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is generally well-developed. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more clearly defined to provide a stronger framework for the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and appropriate word choice. However, there are instances where more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the clarity and impact of the arguments.
Grammatical Range
The essay shows a good command of grammar with mainly accurate and varied sentence structures. However, there are a few instances of grammatical errors that can be easily corrected with careful proofreading.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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