IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #university #students #study #subjects #future #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A group of people think that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university students should have a chance to
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 their own disciplines. Another group believe that only
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
-related
subjects
Use synonyms
 should exist for study. Though It is the era of
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
It's not the be-all and end-all. I personally agree with the first group very strongly. Humanity and social
science
Use synonyms
-related
subjects
Use synonyms
 are
kind
Correct article usage
a kind
show examples
 of mirror of our life. Literature, Philosophy, History, World Religion, International Relations etc.
subjects
Use synonyms
 act like a bridge between
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and society.
Besides
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business-related
subjects
Use synonyms
, like Management, Marketing, Organization Strategy etc. are well connected with our lives because we are living in a world of trade as well. Though humanities and social sciences can not play a vast role
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 scientific
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 but they are extremely needed to keep people's
Use synonyms
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
live
Correct your spelling
alive
show examples
 and fresh.
Additionally
Linking Words
, a student is independent
to choose
Change preposition
in choosing
show examples
 his life goal. It is not
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
 of someone to set a rule to drive students in a selected way
whereas
Linking Words
 the other ways are not harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I must say that the
subjects
Use synonyms
 will be useful in the future and not only related to
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
science
Use synonyms
 of
mind
Use synonyms
 and human well-being. Only
Use synonyms
technology-based
Correct article usage
a technology-based
show examples
 society will be unable to make people delighted. Obviously, the
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
-related
subjects
Use synonyms
 have a great appeal but they are everything.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the term "useful for
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
" is not selected for
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 only. If someone
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 food for their
mind
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as inner peace, literary practice,
psychological
Correct word choice
or psychological
show examples
 therapy,
always
Rephrase
apply
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 will not be able to help them with full power. In Conclusion, I am bound to say that
science
Use synonyms
 and
technology
Use synonyms
 have obviously
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major role in the future but they are not adequate to calm the human
mind
Use synonyms
 and not the only way for the survival of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mankind, so, students should study
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 whatever they want.
Submitted by ashiqbillah99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction could be stronger. Consider providing more context and capturing the reader's attention.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on a main idea. Some paragraphs could be better organized.
lexical resource
Your language use is generally good, but try to utilize a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range
Watch out for some minor errors in grammar. Review the use of verb tenses and article usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
What to do next:
Look at other essays: