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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various catego ries during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each c ategory of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, an d make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various catego ries during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each c ategory of exports in 2016 compared with 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, an d make comparisons where relevant.
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While
Linking Words
 the bar chart depicts data on five different sectors for 2015 and 2016, the table provides an accurate per cent
change
Use synonyms
 in number for all of them from 2015 to 2016.
Overall
Linking Words
, almost all of which, grow larger except one sector. As the graph shows, in 2015 petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 stood at just over 60 billion dollars
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and accounted for the largest part of export earnings and down to the least amount Textiles stood at about 25 billion dollars. For 2016 petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight increase but a noticeable
change
Use synonyms
 is the growth of engineered goods that took place above 60 billion dollars
along with
Linking Words
 petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 almost at the same level all other sectors
also
Linking Words
 went through a lift except gems and jewellery.
While
Linking Words
 it is clear from the table, the
change
Use synonyms
 in each category from 2015 to 2016 was a substantial increase in textiles that surged by over 15% and
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 is engineered goods with 8.5% growth. and down to the least amount of
change
Use synonyms
 Agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 took place with less than 1%
change
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words change, products with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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