Write about the following topic: A government’s role is only to provide defense capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc.). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
#topic #government’s #role #defense #capability #infrastructure #roads #water #supplies #services #education #health #security #groups #individuals #community
Some
people
believe that the government
should provide services
of education, health, and social security, while
the
others insist that it must be provided by private Correct article usage
apply
groups
. Even if many people
are satisfied with the services
by private groups
it will increase the discrimination between the wealthy and poor people
.
First of all, if the services
are provided by private groups
, then
the quality
of services
will improve because there will be a
competition between private communities. Correct article usage
apply
For instance
, the United States is renowned for their
medical service is superior Correct pronoun usage
its
with
any other Change preposition
to
countries
. Many Fix the agreement mistake
country
people
who suffer from sickness are gathered in the
AmericaCorrect article usage
apply
,
because the medical technology in there is much Remove the comma
apply
advanced
than Correct quantifier usage
more advanced
other
countries. Even if their service Change preposition
in other
quality
is great to believe, there is a fatal disadavantage
which is Correct your spelling
disadvantage
expensive
expense.
The Add an article
the expensive
an expensive
government
should ensure their citizenship by educating, providing environment
for mental and physical health and providing proper treatment. Add an article
an environment
the environment
On the other hand
, Not only the
Add a missing verb
do the
services
from the private groups
require high quality
but also
the expense is high. People
who are in difficult economic circumstances, they
can'Correct pronoun usage
apply
t
pay for the expense of the services
. For instance
, Most of
Change preposition
apply
the
Americans can'Correct article usage
apply
t
go to the hospital easily because they aren't
affordable the money. Even their
are Replace the word
there
people
who die because they couldn't
get a
proper treatment Remove the article
apply
due to
the lacking
of money. It follows the results of Replace the word
lack
ranks
of the Correct article usage
the ranks
people
divided by economic situations and it will provoke a
discrimination and struggles between the wealthy and poor Remove the article
apply
people
.
To sum up
, although
services
provided by the private group will ensure the high quality
of services
, I whould
never choose the first choice. BecauseCorrect your spelling
would
,
it Remove the comma
apply
also
means that the government
can't
be responsible for the people
who have fewer resources. The government
should protect the quality
of life and happiness of the
individuals, and providing Correct article usage
apply
services
by public
would play a significant role Add an article
the public
to realize
it.Change preposition
in realizing
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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay does not have a clear introduction or conclusion. To improve, make sure to begin with an introduction that paraphrases the question and ends with a clear opinion. In the conclusion, restate the opinion and summarize the main points of the discussion.
Paragraphing & Main Ideas
The organization of ideas could be improved by using paragraphs effectively to separate different points. Also, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by explanation and example.
Supporting Details
More specific examples and details are needed to support the statements. General claims should be supported by more precise information or real-world examples to make the argument stronger.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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