As global trade increases, many goods including those we use on a daily basis are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distance.  Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

There is no doubt these days that many
goods
are being manufactured in other
countries
and
then
being delivered long distance. The question is, is
this
thing beneficial? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss the benefits and the drawbacks of
this
. In terms of advantages,
goods
being produced in foreign
countries
might be good
due to
low labour costs. The main reason to support
this
claim is to help developing
countries
in increasing employment rates and high product quality. To illustrate, many international companies manufacture their
goods
in Nepal,
this
will help the people to gain jobs with low cost and giving the world a good product quality.
However
, producing products in other
countries
might be discriminating against human
rights
.
Firstly
, in many
countries
, people work for long hours at a very low cost.
In other words
, in Bangladesh, some worldwide companies set up their factories in
such
countries
, and they employ people for only 50 cents per hour for 12 hours a day for 7 days with no
day-offs
Correct your spelling
day off
show examples
.
This
is because to increase the production rate with no taking into account the
rights
of these employees.
Also
,
such
companies do not even offer their employees the most basic
rights
,
such
as health insurance or even healthy working conditions. In conclusion, producing
goods
in foreign
countries
might be beneficial if we take into account the
rights
of the employees,
otherwise
,
this
is considered as humiliating the
rights
of
such
workers.
Submitted by osama2010b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure a more balanced discussion in presenting both the benefits and drawbacks of global trade and outsourcing.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and well-organized structure. Work on developing a clearer introduction and conclusion, as well as organizing the main points in a more coherent manner.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, but there is a need for more precise and varied vocabulary to convey ideas effectively.
grammatical range
There is a good control of basic grammar and sentence structures. However, work on using complex structures and more sophisticated language to enhance the overall quality of writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: