IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many animals are being hunted to the brink of extinction in order to fulfill the demand and greed of mankind for decorative purposes as well as for other reasons such as traditional medicine. How could this be solved?

#animals #brink #extinction #demand #mankind #purposes #medicine #be
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Humans can perform any task for their own benefit.
Wether
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Whether
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 it concerns killing animals for using their parts to decorate their homes or even creating medicinal products from them to an extent till they become endangered.
In
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I
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 strongly oppose
to
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apply
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the above-stated notion and will explain methods like penalising animal killing and use of genomic sequencing to create medicines to tackle
this
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 concern.
To begin
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 with, in medieval times humans used animal products for
neccessary
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necessary
 needs like meat for food and carcass to protect them from extreme
tempratures
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temperatures
. But, in today's
time
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time,
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 things have taken an unexpected turn and these creatures are mercilessly slaughtered for doing business by selling their body parts as souvenirs like elephant tusks and crocodile skin, and
also
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 for making vaccines like antivenoms.
For instance
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, more than 10,000 tigers were killed for their fur which
were
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was
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 later used in making rugs, in the late 1900's in India which brought them to the verge of extinction.
This
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 issue has become an upcoming global concern as animals are linked to the national heritage.
Firstly
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, penalising animal slaughter and strict action against the
law breakers
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lawbreakers
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 could help in downsizing the killings to a minimum.
For example
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, more than a thousand criminals have been arrested
till
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to
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 date who were found trading animal body parts for monetary gains.
Secondly
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,
introduction
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the introduction
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 of new scientific methods like genetic sequencing which uses
human
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the human
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 genome to create vaccines like antivenoms and anticancer drugs, will help in
further
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 reducing these animal sacrifices.
To conclude
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, more and more animals will continue to be killed mercilessly for decorating homes or creating vaccines. It's the government's
resposibility
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responsibility
 to take prompt and strict action against these delinquents and ban the usage of animal products for making medicines.
Submitted by mrigankingley2099 on

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