Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These
days’
children spend a Correct your spelling
days
lot
of time watching TV and playing video
games
. So some
people think that these Rephrase
Some
activities
are beneficial for child's
mental health, Correct article usage
a child's
while
others believe that these activities
are not useful and may destroy their mental health. This
essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.
On one hand, TVs and video
games
are the most effective sources for children. However
, a lot
of parents may think that these activities
comes
with Change the verb form
come
a
negative impacts Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
such
as time-wasting, bad attitudes and destructions. For example
, when you give the child all the opportunities to watch every channel on TV or all the video
games
that are not for kids which contain a lot
of blood and bad words that may be harmful to kid's mental health.
On the other hand
, a lot
of families think that these activities
are good for their kids, due to
the fact that they will have more knowledge and having
fun at the same time. To illustrate, when you want to teach your child the alphabet, they will not be focused enough. Wrong verb form
have
However
, when you let them watch it as an
entertainment they will have fun and they will understand. Remove the article
apply
For instance
, when you want
teach your kid every day he/she will get bored and will stop listening and focusing regarding lake of fun Add the particle
want to
activities
so when you manage a schedule to make a
free time for entertainment Correct article usage
apply
such
as watching TVs
or playing Fix the agreement mistake
TV
video
games
they will be happier and the ideas will come through their minds.
In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
Change preposition
of views
views
, I personally agree because I believe that TVs and Fix the agreement mistake
view
video
games
are crucial due to
the fact that children are easily to distract
. Change the verb form
distracted
However
we need as parents to be aware of what TV shows they are watching and what Add a comma
However,
video
games
they are playing.Submitted by elshamrifawaz on
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Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the question and provide balanced arguments for both sides of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
Vary the vocabulary and use more precise and appropriate word choices to enhance the expression of ideas.
Grammatical Range
Focus on using a wider range of sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word choice.