Some people get into debt by buying things they don’t need and can’t afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, technology has made
people
Use synonyms
do something more practical, including shopping. Some of them pay out stuff
that is
Linking Words
useless for them, even if they lend
money
Use synonyms
to buy it. There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
do that and what kind of steps it takes away from us. The first reason which creates
this
Linking Words
behaviour is they are easier to register pay-later or other lending method with a click. So, when they window shop through their mobile phone or have fun in a mall, they can enjoy buying goods without paying out
money
Use synonyms
at that time and they have a mindset that their amount of
money
Use synonyms
is still the same, which is actually not. The second reason is when some
people
Use synonyms
scroll through social media and they watch a product
that is
Linking Words
promoted by an influencer whom they admire, they can search for that product on an e-commerce site, and
check-out
Correct your spelling
check out
show examples
it using pay-later without deep analysis if they need the thing or not.
For example
Linking Words
, based on a survey in Jakarta, after several startups which engaged in the lending field released shorter mechanisms to have debt, the consumerism of
people
Use synonyms
rose by around 10%.
People
Use synonyms
can avoid lending
money
Use synonyms
to have unused stuff if they JOMO which abbreviated from Joy Of Missing Out and are grateful for whatever they have since we as humans have it almost impossible to have everything in
this
Linking Words
world.
Next,
Linking Words
we should have a good financial plan, especially for buying things. As an economic expert said that more than 80% of
people
Use synonyms
who execute their financial scheme, potentially
also
Linking Words
avoid lending
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, buying purposeless goods for us out of our financial capacity is caused by several causes and we can prevent it if we have a good mindset and financial plan.
Submitted by iftitakhulzakiyah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement in organization and clarity.
taskAchievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates good use of cohesive devices and logical structure. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more effectively managed.
lexical resource
The essay displays a varied range of vocabulary and effective use of language. However, some terminology could be more precise to enhance lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good range of grammatical structures and accurate use of language. It would benefit from more complex sentence structures and accurate word choice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: