IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, different
companies
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 using advertisements in a way to make their
products
Use synonyms
 more attractive. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it has many negative effects on the mass
people
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 I
strong
Change the word
strongly
show examples
 believe that it's a positive development in terms of multiple options and
features
Use synonyms
. Actually, the way our world is progressing by leaps and bounds, in
turn
Add the comma(s)
turn,
show examples
 makes the business arena more competitive. That's why, for a specific product, lots of
companies
Use synonyms
 are competing to survive in the market.
For example
Linking Words
,
apple
Capitalize word
Apple
show examples
 and Samsung are producing their smartphones with better
features
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year. If they fail to upgrade those
products
Use synonyms
, they will lose their consumers because many other
companies
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 waiting to occupy those places.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
companies
Use synonyms
 are interested in advertising their
products
Use synonyms
 in innovative ways, so that it attracts
people
Use synonyms
 to buy their
products
Use synonyms
. Because of these competitions,
people
Use synonyms
 benefit in many ways. Previously, it was difficult to buy something because of a lack of options.
However
Linking Words
, now it is possible to get the accessories
according to
Linking Words
 the requirements of
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Xiaomi is very popular in Bangladesh, and in their advertisements, they are targeting those
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in mid-range income salaries. They provide more
features
Use synonyms
 and amenities compared to the expensive brand
products
Use synonyms
 at a cheap
price
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of the competition,
companies
Use synonyms
 are upgrading their
features
Use synonyms
 with a lowered
price
Use synonyms
, which makes
people
Use synonyms
 able to afford the
products
Use synonyms
 nowadays.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2015, the average smartphone
price
Use synonyms
 was around 25 thousand, but today 6-8 thousand is enough to buy a smartphone.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I think advertising strategies by businesses are a positive outcome for all sectors of
people
Use synonyms
 because it helps to get a product with a lowered
price
Use synonyms
 with more advanced
features
Use synonyms
 and competition between the
companies
Use synonyms
 makes them think differently in advertisement purposes.
Submitted by rummanurrahad2038 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction presents a clear thesis statement and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.
lexical resource
Provide a wider range of vocabulary and use more specific and precise language to enhance the essay.
grammatical range
Work on using a variety of complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
What to do next:
Look at other essays: