IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

some peaple believe that the consumption of fish in European countries is more then that of for chicken, lamb, nad beef. do you agree?

#peaple #consumption #fish #european #countries #chicken #lamb #nad #beef
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The supplied line graph depicts data on consuming sea creatures, particularly fish, and different types of meat in a European country within a
period
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 of 15 years, commencing from 1979.
overall
Linking Words
, there is an upward trend in consuming chicken,
while
Linking Words
 followers of
beef
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 and lamb had increased during the
period
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, as can be
seen
Add a comma
seen,
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 the consumption of fish approximately remained stable. At the beginning of the
period
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, the most popular meat among the people was
beef
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. Apart from a brief rise between 1979 and 1984 in the
consumotion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
beef
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 to reach just under 250, There was a gradual decline in the
consumotion
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of
beef
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 and lamb from about 220 and 150 to well over 100 and 50, respectively.
Although
Linking Words
 the amount of fish that was consumed remained static nearly 50 in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 25 years, the proportion of
counsuming chiken
Correct your spelling
consuming chicken
 experienced a sharp increase.
This
Linking Words
 meat significantly rose from just under 150 in 1979 to exceed
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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beef
Use synonyms
 in 1989 with approximately 200
gram
Fix the agreement mistake
grams
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 per person per week.
this
Linking Words
 amount
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 its upward trend to stand first
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
 with 250.
Submitted by rasulmaghsudi928 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need improvement. The main points are supported but require more clarity and depth.
task achievement
The response addresses the task but lacks completeness and depth. The ideas are somewhat clear but would benefit from more comprehensive development and specific examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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