IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that a person improves intellectual skills better when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #person #skills #group #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Yes,
according to
Linking Words
 me a
person
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’s intellectual
skills
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improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 in
group
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
. The main reasons behind agreeing to the fact are –
Firstly
Linking Words
,
group
Use synonyms
activities
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 generally include
interaction
Add an article
the interaction
an interaction
show examples
 of ideas within the
group
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.
People
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 within the peer share thoughts with one another.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
improve
Change the verb form
improves
show examples
 one’s critical ability thinking
skills
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, If a
person
Use synonyms
 is writing
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a book in a
group
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then
Linking Words
 he/she will definitely share ideas with his colleagues and
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 exchange of ideas will enhance his/her book.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In
group
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 , a
person
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 gets opportunities to new
people
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 which ultimately helps him in all aspects of life. If a
person
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 meets new
people
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,
then
Linking Words
 his/her social bonding will increase. Generally , society recognizes a
person
Use synonyms
 who is active in
group
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activities
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.
Last
Linking Words
 but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least ,
Group
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 discussions enrich us with better cultural and social understanding. In groups,
people
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 from different cultural backgrounds
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 together,
therefore
Linking Words
 cultural understanding develops between the peer.
For example
Linking Words
, if in a
group
Use synonyms
activity
Add a comma
activity,
show examples
 a
person
Use synonyms
 from North India works closely with a
person
Use synonyms
 from South India,
then
Linking Words
 there are chances that both the
person
Use synonyms
 will take a glance at each other’s culture enhancing their cultural bonds. In Conclusion, Interaction
skills
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, Social understanding and cultural understanding
skills
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improves
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
 when working in
group
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activities
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.
Hence
Linking Words
,
group
Use synonyms
activities
Use synonyms
 are more fruitful than individual
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
.
Submitted by jayeshnain03 on

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task response
Your essay does not fully address the prompt and some points lack clarity. Try to structure your points more effectively and use more relevant examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat effective, but the connection between ideas could be clearer. Try to use linking words and transition phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is satisfactory, but there is room for improvement. Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise and academic expressions.
grammatical range
Your grammatical range is quite basic, and errors are frequent. Work on using a wider range of sentence structures and pay closer attention to verb tenses and agreement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
What to do next:
Look at other essays: