In conclusion, although some people work only for money, others can work for various reasons related to satisfaction /self- respect and psychology.

These days, some
people
argue that
money
is their motivation to be diligent at
work
. I partly disagree with
this
view, and I will enumerate my
reasons
below.
To begin
with, obviously, most
people
work
to make
money
for
reasons
related to the quality of life. To be specific, financial problems are practically the most significant matter in reality since it is concerned with livelihood. Without
money
,
people
cannot do basic things which are essential to living
such
as residing in a better accommodation and feasting on scrumptious foods.
Furthermore
, it would be hard to not only enjoy the relaxed leisure time but
also
have amusing hobbies provided that someone lives just at a subsistence level.
Therefore
,
people
work
diligently to improve their living conditions. In spite of the
reasons
mentioned above, I endorse the idea that
people
work
for other grounds. For one thing,
people
can achieve self-esteem by doing their desired
work
This
is because most jobs need a vocation, which makes workers offer services for special goals.
For example
, doctors and teachers are the jobs that call for
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
purpose
Change the noun form
purposes
show examples
,
such
as saving patients and leading/ educating children, since if they are deficient in it, they cannot appropriately
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their jobs. Another reason in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of
this
view is that working industriously makes workers mentally healthy. Generally,
people
interact with others in the workplace. The more they socialize, the better relationships they have with their colleagues, which makes
people
not secluded.
As a result
, it is beneficial for their mental state. In conclusion,
although
some
people
work
only for
money
, others can
work
for various
reasons
related to
self- respect
Correct your spelling
self-respect
show examples
and psychology.
Submitted by moonmond15 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points and explore the topic in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language to enhance the quality of your writing.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence types for a more varied and sophisticated writing style.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: