In some countries, health care and education are partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion ? explain your position?
The
government
spend the health
care
and education of their society in some nations. Even though others argue that this
should be handled by the authority totally. I disagree with that statement and am more concerned that both community and the government
should share the expenditure together on the grounds that the authority have
another aspect to be built and to give Change the verb form
has
people
more responsibility for their own well-being
The one main reason is that the government
have other aspects to develop such
as the economy and transportation. These areas beside essential in terms of supporting health
care
and education as well as
the problems that have to be a priority. As a result
, the government
must allocate the budget to this
sector. From another perspective, it can be said that development should be done in all of human life not only focusing on one or two aspects in order to make them more balanced. For example
, due to
the Indonesian government
just focusing on health
care
in eradicating stunting in East Nusa Tenggara Province, the economic sector and many public transportation became new issues that caused of economic downturn.
Another reason is that Individuals should be responsible for caring for their health
. Being spend 30 % of their money on insurance for their health
. People
have been involved in keeping their health
. For example
, in terms of increasing the level of health
among poor people
in Indonesia, society is asked to pay 1/3 form the total cost that they have to spend on health
care
. As a result
Add a comma
,
people
are more caring and have a responsibility for their health
.
In conclusion, I argue that society and the rule maker can work together in terms of spending the insurance for health
care
and education tuition because the government
is concerned about another sector to be developed and it will give people
responsibility for their own well-being.Submitted by musa.nuwa on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Develop the ideas more fully, and provide clearer examples to support your points.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite