IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The Pie Chart depicted here shows the trend in a
particualr
Correct your spelling
particular
 country
how
Change preposition
in how
show examples
 working adults spend their
time
 on extra activities in five decades. In 1958, Working adults
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
 of their
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working and 32
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sleeping. Comparing
this
 to 2008, people spend more
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working(42%) rather than sleeping(25%). The
time
 to travel to work
also
 varies in different
time
 frames - with 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
time
Replace the word
spent
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on travelling to 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
time
Replace the word
spent
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on travelling. The
time
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hanging out with friends/family in 1958 is considerably higher than the
time
 spent in 2008. 8
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
working
Add an article
the working
show examples
 population
tends
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
 to relax at home in 1958 and comparing
this
 to 2008 which is significantly more in number. The
time
 spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying at home in 2008 for working adults
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 13
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. There
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 only
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 increase
Change preposition
in
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
time
 spent
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing sports
Change preposition
between
show examples
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 1958 and 2008.
Submitted by vigvic013 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie chart
  • percentage
  • activities
  • working adults
  • summarise
  • report
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • relevant
  • time spent
  • work-related
  • leisure
  • personal care
  • travel
  • noticeable trends
  • over a period
  • devoted
  • significant changes
  • contrast
  • compare
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!