IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many companies and Organisation required employees to wear uniform at work what are advantages and disadvantages of wearing a uniform?

#companies #organisation #employees #uniform #work
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are always two sides to everything.The same goes for companies and organisations
require
Correct pronoun usage
that require
show examples
 employees to wear uniforms at
work
Use synonyms
.Most
people
Use synonyms
 admire it as an advantage and some seem to take it as a negative impact on the employee. I personally believe that employers to wear
uniform
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 are advantages. There are several drawbacks to companies and organisations requiring employees to wear uniforms at
work
Use synonyms
.A common criticism is that unformal wear will make
people
Use synonyms
 cannot focus on
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because the
company
Use synonyms
 is not a personal place if
people
Use synonyms
 wear too fashionable or dirty will affect others.Another negative aspect can be if
people
Use synonyms
 wear too much luxury,it is easy to make
people
Use synonyms
 compare.To be more specific,some
people
Use synonyms
 born into rich families can easily get what they want if they wear luxury clothes it may make others feel sad or envious.
Although
Linking Words
 wearing is
freedom
Correct article usage
a freedom
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 everyone
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
company
Use synonyms
 is a team ,
sometimes
Correct word choice
and sometimes
show examples
 we need to care about others. In spite of these negative effects, wearing a
uniform
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 has brought important benefits as well.One obvious advantage of
this
Linking Words
 is
people
Use synonyms
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 need to waste time thinking about what to wear in the morning .
This
Linking Words
 means that
people
Use synonyms
 can have more time to prepare for
work
Use synonyms
.Another positive effect is wearing a
uniform
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 can remind each other we are a team,when
people
Use synonyms
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a decision they will put the
company
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 first place and it can reduce a lot of problems.Wearing a
uniform
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 can make
people
Use synonyms
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
proud of being
company
Use synonyms
 employees.
To sum up
Linking Words
,it seems to me that wearing a
uniform
Use synonyms
 has brought us more benefits than disadvantages.
Submitted by ggrunrunderr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be more developed and clear.
Task Achievement
The essay provides some relevant points but lacks in depth and development.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: