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Band 6

some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology
There is a debate by some people about which subjects are more important than others to be learnt at school. Some people believe that science and
technology
 are more essential than others think that
history
 is. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both points of view and present my opinion.
History
, which others believe, has become a foundation for an education. By learning
history
,
students
 will understand the root of the knowledge itself.
For example
, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
history
 is a required
subject
 at school for at least 12 years. It is believed that the longer
students
 learn
history
, the more they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 appreciate their nation.
Nevertheless
, even though
this
subject
 is mandatory, none guarantees
students
 expertise on
this
subject
.
On the other hand
, it is undeniable that today’s
technology
 is becoming popular among society. The use of
technology
 made society believe that the new generation should learn and develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their knowledge.
For example
, a lot of organizations provide free courses for kids to learn coding. It is a good start for young children to expertise their skills in Tech and Science.
Overall
, both subjects have benefits to learn,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the most major thing that should be considered is the student's interest.
Students
 should learn both to find their passion,
then
 if they feel confident, they should've made it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
preference
Replace the word
preferred
show examples
subject
 to be learned in depth. Finding the right balance between diverse subjects allows
students
 to explore their interests and strengths. In conclusion, the debate over the importance of science and
technology
 versus
history
 underscores the diverse perspectives on education.
While
history
 provides a foundational understanding of our roots and fosters national pride, the rapid evolution of
technology
 highlights its significance in today's society.
Submitted by ambercampbell.xx25 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point or idea, and provide a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through the essay.
Lexical Resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and promote a more sophisticated style of writing.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure and use a variety of complex and compound sentences to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial
  • comprehend
  • retrospect
  • gain insights
  • reflect on
  • sharpen
  • evaluate
  • significance
  • heritage
  • legacy
  • advent
  • breakthroughs
  • sustain
  • sustainability
  • revolutions
  • empowered
  • overcome
  • transform
  • advancements
  • collaboration
  • cooperation
  • diversity
  • fulfilling
  • promote
  • facilitate
  • prosperity
  • enhance
  • foster
  • foundation
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