In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #world #people #parents’ #home #school #friends

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Nowadays, in many nations,

teenagers

decide to leave their

birth place

Correct your spelling

birthplace

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after they complete school and begin to live on their own or in a shared home with colleagues . I agree with the statement because of freedom and autonomy

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and develop personal growth and exploration.

Firstly

teenagers

living on their own can give them freedom and autonomy.

This

can make them take decisions or risks on their own, and by doing

this

can improve their skills and gain success in

life

. Recent studies say that

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apply

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over 75% of adults make decisions or take risks when leave their

parents

' home in their teenage . Another reason why I agree is personal growth and exploration. Living

life

independently can make you think about the future , so a young person who is not dependent on

parents

or others can grow, make and save money before entering adult age. A recent survey says that around 70% of old people who live a quality

life

are those who

have

Unnecessary verb

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show examples

started growing when they were

teenagers

In contrast

, living with

parents

also

beneficial for young people in terms of supervision.

Parents

can observe and give a better opinion to a child in some

life

decisions, but

this

cannot happen throughout

life

. In conclusion,

although

some people

believes

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

living with

parents

can be beneficial . I believe that an independent

life

Change preposition

for

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teenagers

can lead them to grow and give them a sense of freedom.

Personally

Add a comma

Personally,

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I believe that, after finishing

Correct article usage

apply

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school,

teenagers

must leave their

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

home as soon as possible, and start

life

on their own.

Submitted by umark5353 on Thu Nov 09 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

autonomy
self-reliance
personal growth
exploration
life skills
independence
friendships
social connections
beneficial
perspective

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In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or share a home with friends. Some people think it is a positive thing. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this

Young people are leaving their homes from rural areas to study or work in cities. What do you think are the reasons? Do the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.