IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The increase in the production of consumer consumption goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this and what can be done to solve this problem?

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It is true that the rise in
consumer
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production
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 has detrimental impacts on the natural environment.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes behind the environmental damage and propose potential solutions to mitigate these consequences. There are two primary reasons why the increase in
consumer
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goods
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 manufacturing poses a threat to the natural environment.
Firstly
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, the extraction of natural
resources
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 leads to devastating ecosystem disruption.
Consumer
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goods
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production
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 heavily relies on the extraction of minerals, fossil fuels, and timber, resulting in habitat destruction, deforestation, and the depletion of non-renewable
resources
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.
For example
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, the widespread demand for electronic devices has led to increased mining activities, contributing to ecological disruption and soil erosion.
Additionally
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, the logging industry for furniture
production
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 has resulted in intensive deforestation, causing a loss of biodiversity.
Secondly
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, the energy-intensive manufacturing processes and transportation used for
goods
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 delivery account for a significant portion of greenhouse gas emissions, pushing the Earth towards a climate crisis. To tackle these consequences, several measures can be implemented. The first solution is to encourage companies to adopt sustainable sourcing practices to ensure responsible extraction of
resources
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 and minimize habitat destruction.
For instance
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, enterprises can prioritize the use of recycled materials and promote sustainable forestry practices,
such
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 as tree replanting initiatives.
Furthermore
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, investing in research and development of alternative materials with lower environmental impacts,
such
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 as biodegradable plastics, and renewable energy technologies can help reduce the reliance on scarce
resources
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. The second solution involves governments offering incentives,
such
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 as providing tax deductions and implementing regulations, to encourage industries to transition to renewable energy sources, improve energy efficiency in manufacturing processes, and adopt greener approaches. In conclusion, various measures can be taken to address the environmental issues caused by the growth of
consumer
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goods
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 manufacturing. To achieve better results in environmental protection in the future, companies need to be fully aware of the negative impacts and adopt appropriate sustainable practices, with oversight and support from governments. By implementing these measures, we can work towards a more sustainable future and mitigate the detrimental effects of
consumer
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production
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 on the natural environment.

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task response
Ensure to provide specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will strengthen the argument and demonstrate a clear understanding of the issues.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow and organization of ideas are well-structured. Maintain this level of coherence and cohesion throughout the essay by using cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs effectively.
lexical resource
Continue to display a wide range of vocabulary and use it precisely to convey nuanced meanings. Aim to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to the topic to enhance the lexical resource.
grammatical range
Ensure to consistently demonstrate accurate and appropriate use of complex structures and grammatical forms. Vary sentence structures and avoid repetition to showcase a wider grammatical range.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer consumption goods
  • natural environment
  • single-use products
  • waste
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • pollution
  • manufacturing processes
  • emissions
  • wastewater
  • landfill sites
  • habitat destruction
  • unsustainable use
  • natural resources
  • recycling
  • circular economy
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • eco-friendly materials
  • sustainable production methods
  • educating consumers
  • environmental impact
  • purchasing decisions
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