Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Personal
information
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are
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is
show examples
being asked by employers from
job
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applicants. There are differences in opinion
in
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on
show examples
this
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aspect. Some
people
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think that
such
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information
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is essential and others say irrelevant. I believe that these kinds of
details
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are
essential
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an essential
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part of human resources management in most of the organization. In
this
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essay, I will explain both pros and
corns
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cons
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of
this
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statement with examples.
To begin
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with,
firstly
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,
information
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obtains
Wrong verb form
obtained
show examples
from
interviewer
Correct article usage
the interviewer
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
meaningful for most of the corporate world. In
modern
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a modern
the modern
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business environment,
majority
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the majority
show examples
of organizations are involved in updating their database
of
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for
show examples
future reference. To cite an example, with
surge
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the surge
a surge
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in
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of employees
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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to support business projects, there are huge
requirement
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requirements
show examples
of advance
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for advanced
show examples
database for maintaining
personal
Correct article usage
the personal
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details
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of each
employees
Change to a singular noun
employee
show examples
so that
employer
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employers
show examples
can extract
details
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of their resources in
efficient
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an efficient
show examples
manner.
Secondly
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, most organizations are
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people centric
Add a hyphen
people-centric
show examples
therefore
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they require individual
details
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of
job
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seekers so that they can keep in touch with employees in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
run and create strong
connects
Replace the word
connections
show examples
among team structure.
Therefore
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, personal
information
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is necessary to obtain from
job
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applicants. Even though
,
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apply
show examples
there are innumerable benefits to
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personalized
information
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from
job
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seekers,
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however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
some
people
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believe that obtaining
these
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this information
show examples
information
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not
update
Wrong verb form
updated
show examples
to the mark. Resources usually join companies to
outperforming
Wrong verb form
outperform
show examples
their work. They require
skill
Correct article usage
a skill
show examples
set to perform their jobs
therefore
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it's not necessary to enquire about their specific hobbies,
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
and family
details
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.
For instance
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, some new joiners may not feel comfortable
to share
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sharing
show examples
their individual
details
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to
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with
show examples
anyone
therefore
Linking Words
they may be reluctant to share
these generalized
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this generalized information
show examples
information
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it is recommended
for
Correct word choice
that
show examples
companies
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
obtain
these
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this information
show examples
information
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as per
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
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choices of
people
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.
To conclude
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, seeking specific
details
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from
job
Use synonyms
seekers are essential aspect
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
companies
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companies'
company's
show examples
practice as they are looking for more
details
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from individuals for their database.
However
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, too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
personal
details
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are not required as applicants may not feel comfortable with
this
Linking Words
approach.
Therefore
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, careful consideration is essential
while
Linking Words
obtaining
such
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
from individuals.
Submitted by deep.amans86 on

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task achievement
When addressing the task given, make sure to cover all aspects of the prompt in detail. Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your viewpoints, and ensure your own opinion is distinct and encapsulates all dimensions of the essay question.
lexical resource
Vary your vocabulary to accurately convey your points and avoid repetition. Employ synonyms, but make sure they fit the context appropriately. Your lexical resource is sufficient but somewhat limited; greater variety and precision in word choice could enhance your score.
grammatical range
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
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