You recently went to a cinema where you tried watching a movie, however, you were bothered by a group of teenagers who were very loud in front of you. You complained to the manager but it was not paid attention to. Write an email to a cinema manager in about 150-200 words. Your email should include the following things: • Describe your situation • Explained what happened after you complained to the manager • Suggest solutions to improve
Dear Theater
Manager
,
The
Correct article usage
Last
last
Sunday, I and my family members paid a visit to your theatre to watch John Advik's movie.I am writing this
to complain about the incident that took place during our visit to your hall,having been to your theatre a plethora of times I was shocked to see the negligent behaviour of your staff in regard to the complaint that I gave to a couple of teenagers.
Based on the seating convenience we had chosen B2 and B3 seats which are a little far away from the screen.The young children who sat in front of us started making annoying sounds as soon as the movie started and additionally
, they blocked the screen view.I raised a complaint against them to the shift manager
.
After expressing my concern ,the manager
didn't take enough measures to control them .Watching all this
, the audience screamed at the staff and the manager
didn't show up .I was quite disappointed for not being able to watch my favourite movie peacefully.
I personally recommend you to
hire security guards to control the audience who are involved in uncommon activities.
Sincerely,
Vikram Kallem.Fix the infinitive
apply
Submitted by vicky.kallem on
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coherence cohesion
In terms of logical structure, the email should ideally be ordered with an introduction that sets the context, followed by a systematic detailing of events, and a conclusion summarising the writer's hopes or anticipated actions from the manager. The illogical ordering and lack of clear transition between ideas has impacted the logical structure negatively.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are critical for a well-structured email. The introduction should clearly state the purpose of writing, and the conclusion should succinctly reiterate the main points or the desired outcome from the recipient. This email lacks these elements, impacting its effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Support for main points can be improved by providing specific examples or further explanation. Each complaint or issue raised should be detailed with evidence or a specific instance to strengthen the argument. This email could include more specifics about the teenagers' behavior and the manager's response.
task achievement
The response to the task was incomplete as the suggestions for improvement were not clearly related to the issues faced. A complete response would involve offering actionable and relevant solutions directly connected to the complaint about the teenagers' behavior and the manager's inaction.
task achievement
Ideas could be expressed more clearly and comprehensively by using well-structured sentences and fully explaining thoughts. Ensure that sentences are complete and that ideas are not left undeveloped. This email could benefit from more elaboration on the complaint process and the manager's specific actions.
task achievement
Adding relevant and specific examples can enrich your complaint significantly. Specific incidents of the teenagers' disruptive behavior or particular instances of the manager's neglect should be detailed. This would lend credibility and urgency to your concerns.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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