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Band 4

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development
In the current era, it is becoming increasingly common for companies to highlight
on
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apply
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the novelty of their items. I wholeheartedly believe that advertising new products
have
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has
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 both pros and cons.I will give
further
 explanations in the following essay. There are many cause why a product is advertised as a new one.
To begin
 with, it gives the feeling that some great improvements would have been made which
leads
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would lead
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 to
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a raise
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raise
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rise
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 in the sale of that stuff.
Secondly
, folks want to try every new product before anyone else,
therefore
,
this
 competition of consumers gives significant benefits to the company.
For instance
,every year, Apple company provides the latest version of smartphones with the latest
update
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updates
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 to its customers.The company display its products in
advertisment
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advertisements
 by
introdusing
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introducing
 the
high quality
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high-quality
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of
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apply
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iPhone cameras and unique beauty,
high
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a high
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 operating system in every new version to
tempts
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tempt
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 buyers.
On the other hand
,
this
 fact has positive and negative impacts on individuals. As
a
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an
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advantages
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advantage
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, it surely helps companies since they can boost their revenue,
hence
 they can invest more money in future innovations.
Although
 it can improve the technology and quality of goods, it causes inappropriate
behavior
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behaviour
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 of folks in
the
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apply
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society. For illustration, the demand for the modern version of
iPhone
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the iPhone
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 is more than before
due to
 the effects of advertising on people's thoughts without
need
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the need
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 for a new one. In conclusion, I strongly believe that promoting products as new would be acceptable if companies really invest their fund in order to improve the quality.
Submitted by s.hemmati.p on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph relates to the main topic and that the ideas are developed coherently.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened by providing a clearer thesis statement and summarizing the main points.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and reflect a higher level of English.
grammatical range
Control your use of tenses, articles, and sentence structure to achieve more accuracy in expressing ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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