Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat.

#sugar #health #people #government’s #responsibility #limit #people’s #consumption #individual’s #amount

Eating

sugar

in excessive amounts has been

proved

Correct your spelling

proven

show examples

give

Verb problem

have

show examples

detrimental effects on health. A few individuals opine that it is the

government

's duty to decrease the proportion of

sugar

in citizen's diets,

whereas

others think that

this

is a personal responsibility. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views in detail and provide supporting examples to prove the latter statement takes precedence.

To begin

with, human

sugar

requirements vary

according to

the body structures, diseases, age, and some other factors.

Thus

, every person's adequate

sugar

intake is different.

For example

, a person with diabetes will need less

sugar

while

someone with low blood pressure will require more of it. So, people should take responsibility for their

sugar

consumption. Turning towards another view, if the

government

limits

sugar

intake through awareness programs and health campaigns, it might help to reduce the consumption of

sugar

in some populations.

However

this

step does not seem feasible as the

government

can only reach

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a few masses of the country and not every single person. In conclusion,

although

awareness by the

government

can lessen the

sugar

consumption of the public to some extent, I believe that it is a personal responsibility to manage own health.

That is

why taking care of personal

sugar

intake seems cogent.

Submitted by jeelthakkar9 on Sat Nov 11 2023

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task response

Provide more specific and varied examples related to sugar consumption and its impact on health. Use statistical data or research findings to support your points.

coherence and cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is generally clear, but some ideas could be further developed and connected to enhance coherence. Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a single main point or argument.

lexical resource

Utilize a broader range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and include specialized terms related to health and nutrition.

grammatical range

Expand sentence structures by including a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

213 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

harmful
government intervention
policies and regulations
public health
individual responsibility
education and awareness campaigns
freedom of choice
balanced approach
food industry
sugar content
obesity
diabetes
health problems
taxation
advertising restrictions
labeling requirements
reading food labels
natural sweeteners
cooking at home
moderation
balanced diets

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Eating too much sugar is harmful to health. Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to limit people’s sugar consumption, while others think it is an individual’s responsibility to limit the amount of sugar they eat.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in seprate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries today, if people want to find a job, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.