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Writing Samples
Band 6

69.The line chart below shows the percentage of popualtion aged under 5 years old and aged 65 years old or above in the world since 1950 with projection until 2040. The table below shows the projection of the percentage of population aged 65 and above in 2030 and 2040 in different regions. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

69.The line chart below shows the percentage of popualtion aged under 5 years old and aged 65 years old or above in the world since 1950 with projection until 2040. The table below shows the projection of the percentage of population aged 65 and above in 2030 and 2040 in different regions. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#line #percentage #popualtion #years #world #projection #population #regions #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 that are under 5 and those more than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old in the world from 1950 to 2040,
while
Linking Words
 the table shows the projection of the percentage of individuals more than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old between 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of children under 5
years
Use synonyms
 old has decreased over the
years
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 over 65
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 increasing. The other significant feature is that Western Europe will have the highest rate of
people
Use synonyms
 over 65 in 2030 and 2040. In 1950, 30% of the
population
Use synonyms
 was under 5
years
Use synonyms
 old,
this
Linking Words
 dropped moderately to 25% in the next ten
years
Use synonyms
 and maintained until 1970. Since 1970, the number of kids started to decline steadily to just 12.5% in 2010 and
this
Linking Words
 slightly varied during the next 30
years
Use synonyms
, ending the period at 12.5%. In 1950, 5% of the
population
Use synonyms
 was 65 or above,
this
Linking Words
 remained for the next 10
years
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 it started to climb significantly to 15% in 2010, during the
last
Linking Words
 30
years
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 rose slightly to just above 15%. In 2030, 22% of the
population
Use synonyms
 of Western Europe will be individuals over 65, and
this
Linking Words
 will increase by 4% in 2040, being the region with the most
people
Use synonyms
 over 65
years
Use synonyms
 old,
while
Linking Words
 Sub-Sahara is the one with the least
people
Use synonyms
 over 65, with 5% and 3% in 2030 and 2040 respectively. Latin America, will be the region with the largest variation of
people
Use synonyms
 over 65, from 15% in 2030 to 25% in 2040.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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