Some people think that young people should follow older people's examples. Others believe it is quite natural for teenagers to challenge what old people say. Describe both point of views. Give your opinion with reasons and relevant examples.

Although
many critics believe that
youngsters
should pay attention to elders' opinions, others opine that
youngsters
' disagreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
generation's ideas is normal.
Although
their guidance is necessary to shape our habits and career , in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
autonomy in
decisions
allow
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
to foster qualities
such
as learning from mistake and independence. In my country,
youngsters
often pay attention to
advice
Add an article
the advice
show examples
of their elders at home.
This
has many benefits.
Firstly
, paying heed to elders' suggestions act as a deterrent
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
developing
harmful
Add an article
a harmful
show examples
daily routine,
such
as wasting significant time
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
by
engaaging
Correct your spelling
engaging
in video games.
Secondly
,
this
also
increases the chances
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
gaining employment. To illustrate, video gaming addicts often get poor grades at schools, as opposed to those who play the same occasionally;
this
boosts employment chances for the latter student owing to his better academic performance.
However
, there are few residents who feel that if
youngmen
Correct your spelling
young people
show examples
refrain from seeking elderly guidance, they will be more independent and good learners. It is a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
fact that mistakes help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
important lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
life
.
Therefore
, if our youth were to make their own
decisions
, they would either succeed or learn
a valuable
Correct the article-noun agreement
valuable life lessons
a valuable life lesson
show examples
life
lessons. To exemplify, I have gained more
life
experiences ,
such
as not trusting someone easily, after learning from past my mistakes.
Furthermore
,
due to
busy
life
, it is often inconvenient to seek
wisdom
Add an article
the wisdom
show examples
of old people on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis.
This
, again, underscores the importance that young men should be given
liberty
Correct article usage
the liberty
show examples
to
take
Correct your spelling
make
show examples
decisions
in their early
life
so that they can make informed
decisions
independently when they are adults.
For example
, international students often struggle to adjust
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
a new culture because they are overly dependent on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents in their home country. In my opinion,
youngsters
should be more proactive in
taking
Correct your spelling
making
show examples
decisions
in their early days.
This
is
also
important in light of an increased migration which
necessatitates
Correct your spelling
necessitates
an individual to survive independently , and
also
having necessary practical
life
lessons to thrive in his endeavours. More experience and
know
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better about long
term term
Correct your spelling
the long-term
show examples
benefits of any decision. Journey easy
Submitted by rohit.narad90 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the two opposing viewpoints and your opinion. Additionally, develop a clear conclusion that summarizes your arguments and restates your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure, but make sure to use transition words and phrases to enhance coherence. Additionally, use topic sentences to clearly introduce each paragraph's main idea.
lexical resource
Your essay uses a good range of vocabulary to express ideas, but be cautious of word choice and accuracy. Avoid repetition and imprecise language to improve the overall lexical resource.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of complex structures, but there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and word choice. Pay attention to sentence structure and review the use of articles to enhance grammatical range.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • experience and wisdom
  • societal norms
  • moral compass
  • stability and respect
  • outdated methods
  • forge new paths
  • critical thinking
  • personal growth
  • develop beliefs and ideologies
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