Some people, therefore, think that governments should pay university fees for students who study subjects that are needed by society. Those who choose to study less relevant subjects should not receive government funding. Would the advantages of such an educational policy outweigh the disadvantages?

In our modern world, people’s educational background is considered one of the greatest priorities
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
many administrations. Some may say that some more important
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
must be supported more by state authorities;
however
, others,
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
myself agree that the drawbacks of
this
method outweigh the positive influences. On the one hand, those who believe that focusing more on some specific essential curriculum by governments is more beneficial to humans have their reasons. One reason behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
is that they will face fewer healthcare problems. Admitting
of
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apply
show examples
more medical or nursing students will lead the general public to gain a better quality of healthcare system.
For example
, had the government of India backed up medical students more, Indian people would have had a better level of well-being; but unfortunately, every year hundreds of medical graduates have to move their country
into
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to
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Western countries
for finding
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to find
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better
study
opportunities. Another advantage is that more starved nations will be nourished. Farming should be supported more by governments.
Investing
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By investing
show examples
more in agricultural education, countries will have more advanced and mechanised agriculture, and more developed techniques will be used in
this
sector.
On the other hand
, I personally believe that all
study
subjects must be valued equally, and all humans have similar rights to receive identical funds to continue their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. The first obvious factor is that the rate of unemployment will increase if university principals follow
this
policy. Clearly, by supporting more specific
study
subjects, the number
jobless
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of jobless
show examples
professionals will increase
far
Rephrase
apply
show examples
considerably.
For instance
, in Iran, two decades ago, the capacity of medical universities was enhanced by the government, and more loans were given to medical students.
This
caused the number of medical graduates
grew
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to grow
show examples
fast, and gradually their employment
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
dropped.
Furthermore
, it can be against
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
civil rights. Obviously, all citizens pay
tax
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taxes
show examples
and must have a wide selection to choose their favourite
study
material. If they do not receive equal financial support, they may become unsatisfied citizens.
To sum up
,
although
some education fields are more phenomenal to societies, from my point of view, all
study
courses must be validated
similarly
by administrations because all applicants have equal rights, and
this
method may increase the number of unemployed professionals being more backed up.
Submitted by ayshan.ahmadova1 on

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Introduction
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines your position. While you presented a stance, the introduction could be more concise and engaging.
Logical Structure
Improve logical structuring by using clear paragraphing and topic sentences. Although paragraphs are present, some ideas could be better organized for improved clarity.
Conclusion
Enhance your conclusion by restating your position more clearly and summarizing the main points succinctly. The conclusion should also reflect the complexity of the issue discussed.
Examples
Support your main points with more precise and varied examples that directly relate to the topic at hand. The examples provided were somewhat general and could be more specific and relevant.
Task Response
Strengthen your task response by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Aim to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the policy equally, ensuring that your argument covers the nuances of the question.

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