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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Academic - Task 1 The twp maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

Academic - Task 1 The twp maps below show road access to a city hospital in 2007 and in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#twp #maps #show #road #access #city #summarise #information #features #comparisions
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The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
 maps display the changes of
acess
Correct your spelling
access
Use synonyms
road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
show examples
 to a
city
Use synonyms
 hospital in 2007 and in 2010. In 2007, the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital had only one direct access
road
Use synonyms
 from the
city
Use synonyms
road
Use synonyms
.
Further
Linking Words
, there was a single
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 which was common to staff and public.
This
Linking Words
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was located between
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 hospital Ring
Road
Use synonyms
 and the
City
Use synonyms
Road
Use synonyms
. Vehicles
was
Change the verb form
were
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 able to
entered
Change the verb
enter
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 the
park
Use synonyms
 using the North opening which was directed to the Ring
Road
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the plan was to improve the
road
Use synonyms
 access to the
city
Use synonyms
 hospital. The
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was separated into two different locations and several
roundabout
Change to a plural noun
roundabouts
show examples
 have
built
Add a missing verb
been built
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. Especially, the bus station re-located near
by
Change preposition
apply
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the hospital. In 2010, the bus station
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
 brought to
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 side of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hospital
Road
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it contains two direct access to both roundabouts. There are two
separated
Replace the word
separate
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 parks
allow
Correct pronoun usage
that allow
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
park
Use synonyms
 staff vehicles and public vehicles at different locations.
However
Linking Words
,
entrance
Add an article
the entrance
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 of both
car
Use synonyms
 parks faced towards the Ring
Road
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by shanikamaduri on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words road, city, car, park with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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