IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Teenagers face a lot of difficulties at home and at school. What are the causes for this? How Can parents provide solutions?

#teenagers #face #difficulties #home #school #parents
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To experience many things during the day is kind of
exhausted
Wrong verb form
exhausting
show examples
 for teenagers which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 them tend to face hard times in
school
Use synonyms
 times or even
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home. In my opinion, the roots of
this
Linking Words
 problem
lies
Change the verb form
lie
show examples
 in the uncomfortable vibes that
created
Add a missing verb
are created
show examples
 by the environment of
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 and
school
Use synonyms
 or even because of the action they
got
Verb problem
take
show examples
 from people in those places which should become
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
aware for
parents
Use synonyms
 to solve by having good
converstation
Correct your spelling
conversation
conversations
 about the untold feelings to provide the solutions. Nowadays, teenagers spend their time a lot in
school
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes them meet many people and do various activities outside the house and
also
Linking Words
 have to finish their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 at home which
bring
Verb problem
causes
show examples
 them to feel exhausted. Sometimes, not every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
 happens like
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
water
flows
Correct subject-verb agreement
flow
show examples
 and the vibes
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
Linking Words
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
in good condition because of the people who can not make something
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
. Another reason is because they hard to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their tasks or homework that might be difficult for them to handle.
For instance
Linking Words
, they experience
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
 busy day at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 but still get a lot of
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 that they might not understand how to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems. A contribution from the
parents
Use synonyms
needed
Add a missing verb
is needed
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 situation. As the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who have the closest relationship with their children, the
parents
Use synonyms
 can be the problem
solver
Fix the agreement mistake
solvers
show examples
 by having good communication with their kids about their day
either
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 it is good or bad. By finding the roots of the problem,
such
Linking Words
 as hard to understand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
material from
school
Use synonyms
, the
parents
Use synonyms
 can facilitate their child with a private tutor at home or
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 the outside problems in
school
Use synonyms
 that can be solved by meeting the teacher to find it out. Another solution is to entertain the kids
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 having
vacation
Add an article
a vacation
show examples
 to strengthen their bond and fill up their good
emotion
Fix the agreement mistake
emotions
show examples
 after having
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 time. In conclusion, a likely reason why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 have hard times is probably because of the things they can not handle by themselves
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 need support
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 to lighten their difficulties.
Submitted by Glo on

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Task Response
The essay lacks clarity in its structure. The introduction and conclusion require improvement. The essay provides relevant examples but lacks depth in analysis and development of ideas. More specific and detailed examples would enhance the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical progression of ideas. There is a need for better organization and development of the argument. The introduction and conclusion should be more effectively linked, and there should be a clear development of ideas throughout the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in expression. There is a need for more varied and precise vocabulary to convey the ideas effectively. Additionally, the use of appropriate and accurate terminology is important for conveying meaning clearly.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates limited control of grammar and a lack of sentence variety. There are errors in sentence structure, tense usage, and coherence. There is a need for greater accuracy in the use of complex structures and a wider variety of sentence types.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • struggling
  • overwhelmed
  • challenging
  • cope
  • pressure
  • intimidation
  • supportive
  • effective communication
  • expectations
  • tension
  • compromise
  • negotiation
  • confrontation
  • addiction
  • screen time
What to do next:
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