The natural resources such as oil, and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it cause? How can we solve these problems?

Nowadays, It is undeniable that various
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
natural
resources
are being overused.
This
happens probably because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the needs of
oil
and
water
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
in
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
demand situation. The case might
happens
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happen
show examples
because of the lack of regulation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
created by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and should be
reform
Wrong verb form
reformed
show examples
to prevent the disaster of losing natural
resources
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. The demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
oil
and fresh
water
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
highly
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
the peak point of its limit.
This
should be a warning for
people
to become more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
their environment. The
roots
Fix the agreement mistake
root
show examples
of
this
problem is because
of
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apply
show examples
the
authority
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authorities
show examples
fail to make strong
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
about the
limit
Replace the word
limited
show examples
use
of natural
resources
to warn society about the wiseness of
consume
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consuming
show examples
oil
and
water
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
level.
For example
, there is no strong regulation which
handle
Verb problem
prevents
show examples
people
from buying a lot of
oil
to resell it
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher price and
creating
Wrong verb form
creates
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
demand for
oil
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Another reason is the environment needs to be renewed after
use
to prevent the loss of its
resources
that used to over
consumed
Verb problem
overconsumed
show examples
by
people
without having
emphaty
Correct article usage
an emphaty
show examples
to renew it.
However
,
this
problem can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
with the cooperation of government and society in order to
use
the
resources
wisely. The government can create strong
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
to protect the existence of natural
resouces
Correct your spelling
resources
by giving good punishment for
people
who violate the law of
overuse
Wrong verb form
overusing
show examples
oil
and fresh
water
. Meanwhile, the
people
can obey the rules and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
commitment
Add an article
a commitment
the commitment
show examples
to taking care of the environment so the
resources
can still
be
Change the verb form
be used
show examples
use
without any fear of lacking the natural
resources
.
Moreover
, the reforestation program should be carried out to ensure the
suistanability
Correct your spelling
sustainability
of natural
resources
.
To conclude
, a likely reason for the lack of
water
and
oil
probably
Add a missing verb
is probably
show examples
because of the
inresponsibility
Correct your spelling
irresponsibility
responsibility
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
people
to preserve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature and
use
it without
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
to do the renew in order to have
suistanability
Correct your spelling
sustainability
resources
.
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task response
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coherence and cohesion
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lexical resource
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grammatical range
The essay demonstrates some control of a range of complex structures, but there are errors in sentence structure and punctuation.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • depletion
  • exploitation
  • exhaustion
  • conserve
  • sustain
  • mitigate
  • alternative
  • renewable
  • efficiency
  • renewable energy sources
  • water management
  • irrigation
  • drought-resistant crops
  • recycling
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy infrastructure
  • regulations
  • awareness campaigns
  • education programs
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