IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Others think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #quality #school #students #comments #criticism #teachers #loss #respect #discipline #classroom
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There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over the personal idea contribution of people having a learning journey at high schools.
While
 some claim that it is
recommendable
Replace the word
recommended
show examples
 that potential
students
 should show their views or even judge their lecturers, the opposite makes a statement that it can
bring
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative effect on
students
’ respectful
attitude
Fix the agreement mistake
attitudes
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 and demolish
classroom’s
Change noun form
classroom
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regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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. I would contend that it is comparatively essential for
teachers
 to receive their student’s comments, yet it is only valid to some extent. Without a shadow of a doubt, expressing
students
’ individual viewpoints is tremendously beneficial to
teachers
. Since it is obvious to realize that these actions from
students
 who directly absorb a wide range of theoretical insights greatly
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 their teacher acknowledge their strength and weakness in their teaching methods.
For example
,
instead
 of imparting
this
 amount of rocky theory by using textbooks, having a sympathetic ear from
students
’ wish to pass them down in some
powerpoint
Correct your spelling
PowerPoint
, video or intriguing games is a more suitable tactic of teaching for professors in
this
 technological development’s era, which make their high school
students
 kindle more interests in their digesting knowledge.
Hence
, learners’ conception plays a relatively vital role towards their educators so as to enhance the quality of education.
While
 the redeeming features of conveying opinions of
students
 are widely acknowledged, they need to show their comments with appropriate
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in order not to overcome the boundary of disrespect . Apparently, an appropriate attitude is put into the priority rather than other elements, which is the reason why negative contributions of immoral learners demonstrate an unthankfulness towards their imparter
on
Change preposition
apply
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whom
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 bring enormous disadvantageous influences.
For instance
, in
this
 day and age, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a wealth of harmful comments
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
students
 who are not grateful for their
teachers
 on some social media, namely Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, which become one of the alarming cyber violent problems affecting the spirit and reputation of their lecturers.
Thus
, these actions without thinking
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 obstacle
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the high respect for
teachers
. In conclusion, even though making some individual contributions from
students
 is of
essence
Add an article
the essence
show examples
, a student’s
disrespect
Replace the word
disrespectful
show examples
 etiquette with their
teachers
 will be expressed clearly if it goes beyond the limit.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion give a clear overview of the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
Use a wider range of relevant specific examples to support the points made in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • constructive criticism
  • classroom discipline
  • educational quality
  • teaching methods
  • learning outcomes
  • classroom management
  • teacher-student relationship
  • collaborative
  • real-world communication
  • professional growth
  • hierarchy
  • formal barrier
  • structured feedback mechanisms
  • anonymous surveys
  • moderated discussions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: