IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The graph shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparison
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The line graph
descibe
Correct your spelling
describes
describe
 the
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
 about the new
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
show examples
 and
permentant
Correct your spelling
permanent
 closing
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 in
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
 between 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
is clearly observe
Change the verb form
is clearly observed
show examples
 that in these 7 years,
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
 of old
shops
Use synonyms
 and
opening
Correct article usage
the opening
show examples
 of new
shops
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 from the initial year. To continue with
starting
Correct article usage
the starting
show examples
 year, new open
shops
Use synonyms
 were recorded 9000
however
Linking Words
 6500 old
shops
Use synonyms
 were
close
Replace the word
closed
show examples
. Moving
further
Linking Words
 in 2014,
closing
Correct article usage
the closing
show examples
 and opening
Use synonyms
shops
Change preposition
of shops
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
witnessed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 that was 6500.  Apart from that,
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 of new
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed downwards
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 was 4000 approx. By the end of 2015, only 500
shops
Use synonyms
 were open.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 closures
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
showed the same trend as
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2012, which was followed till 2017. In
addation
Correct your spelling
addition
, in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two years, open
shops
Use synonyms
 were nearly 5000. Yet,
closing
Add an article
the closing
show examples
 of
shops
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in 2016 and 2018 were noted
4000
Change preposition
at 4000
show examples
 and 3000 respectively.
Submitted by guptaprivateltd on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • steady
  • decline
  • increase
  • peak
  • trough
  • magnitude
  • trend
  • surpass
  • plummet
  • annual
  • consecutive
  • closure rate
  • inception rate
  • net growth
  • commercial landscape
  • retail sector
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