IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and government, to deal with this problem. To what extent do you agree?

#climate #change #phenomenon #countries #world #people #responsibility #individuals #corporations #government
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There is a contentious argument over whether
climate
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change
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 is the responsibility of the
people
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 or the government. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement, because
climate
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change
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 has reached a very difficult level where governments cannot control it alone. In
this
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 essay, I am going to explain
further
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 about
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, the main reason why I believe that
people
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 should be held accountable regarding
this
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 issue is that most of the population living in a certain country should try to limit the usage of cars that operate on gas.
In addition
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 to that,
people
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 should be educated about the dangers of
climate
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change
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.
This
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 can be seen when Sweden launched a campaign in 2013 that encouraged
people
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 to buy electric cars
instead
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 of gas cars,
furthermore
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, Swedish
people
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 started to learn more about
climate
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change
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, and now we can see that Sweden is one of the countries concerned with
climate
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 issues. Another reason why I support
this
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 claim is that
climate
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change
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 is caused
due to
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 many factors, and one of those factors is
pollution
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.
Pollution
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 is caused when waste in the environment is high,
this
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 will lead to global warming, and
thus
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 to
climate
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change
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, and the main culprit is the population that does not care about the environment. To illustrate, a recent study shows that developing countries have a higher rate of
climate
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change
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 than developed ones, let's take Congo as an example, from 1956 to 2007 the
change
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 in
climate
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 was about 9% and
this
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 is one of the world's highest, and all of that was caused by
pollution
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. In conclusion, I completely agree that
climate
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change
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 is the
people
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's responsibility, because these
people
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 are capable of causing
pollution
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 and extended gas car usage. Given
this
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 situation, it seems that governments should begin to be aware their
people
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 about the dangers of
climate
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change
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Submitted by osama2010b on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer and more specific stance in the introduction and conclusion
task achievement
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lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and phrasing to enhance your lexical resource
grammatical range
Demonstrate a greater variety of sentence structures and more precise language use to improve your grammatical range

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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