In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, companies try to tell their
costumers
what they'Correct your spelling
customers
re
selling is brand-new and different. I believe this
is due to
the new challenging market
for businesses, and in my Correct your spelling
opinion
opinin
Add a comma
opinin,
this
should be considered a negative thing because it encourages a consuming culture.
It is clear that
these days the market
is much more competetive
than before. Correct your spelling
competitive
Furthermore
, companies need to try to put extra effort on
advertising. Change preposition
into
This
includes highlighting their products and telling people that they're
new and one of a kind. For example
, Apple company introduces two or three models of iPhone every year
with minor changes compared with previous
Add an article
the previous
year
. Each year
Apple tells costumers
that brand-new iPhones are new, Correct your spelling
customers
they
all come with major life-changing improvements, Correct word choice
and they
while
they're
basically selling the same iphones
from Correct your spelling
iPhones
last
year
with insignificant changes.Interestingly , it works and Apple sells more iPhones every year
.
I personally think this
way of advertising should be considered as a negative thing, becauses
it's making people buy Correct your spelling
because
stuffs
they don't need. Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
Currently
we'Add a comma
Currently,
re
facing a climate change that endangers many plants and animal species. A major factor causing this
is the greenhouse gases that are being emitted increasingly, as a result
of factories and cars working double-shifts
to manufacture and transport products across the world. Correct your spelling
double shifts
Therefore
, I think this
Capitalistic mindset and consuming culture should be stopped, and one way is to set regulations for businesses to limit their advertisement, and instead
emphasise on
supporting their products and Change preposition
apply
offer
long-term services.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
offering
this
method of advertising being used by companies is a result of a limited market
and their strategy to adapt it and maintain a place in the market
. I think of this
as a bad thing because it makes society consume excesivel
, and it is harmful for society and the environment .Correct your spelling
excessively
excessive
Submitted by mohsen.pn1998 on
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task response
The response demonstrates a partial understanding of the task. Some parts of the essay are not directly relevant to the prompt, and the argumentation lacks coherence and clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a mostly logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the link between the ideas is sometimes unclear, and the transition between paragraphs needs improvement.
lexical resource
The essay shows an attempt at using a range of vocabulary and some less common words. However, there are instances of wordiness and awkward word choice that affect the overall lexical coherence.
grammatical range
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are several errors in subject-verb agreement, tense usage, and article placement. More sophisticated grammatical structures should be attempted for a higher band score.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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