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Band 5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
Undoubtedly, government expenditure on
art
 including music
as well as
 theatre is huge
wastage
Replace the word
waste
show examples
.
Therefore
, it is argued that it would be great if
this
 amount of money
spent
Add a missing verb
is spent
show examples
 on public facilities which can be more useful. I mostly disagree with
this
 perspective as
art
 is
also
 a part of our life which will be highlighted below in detail. To commence, a great deal of
budget
Correct article usage
the budget
show examples
 is devoted
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
art works
Correct your spelling
artworks
show examples
, which is fair. Mainly because music and theatres make a great contribution to cultures . People who engage with works of
art
 are
also
 able to experience the artwork more accurately as the artist intended it to be seen. Take an example of Alexander Calder's abstract painting, Circles, its dynamic composition features geometric shapes composed of flowing angular lines and circular form.
Finally
, it is irrefutable that artists earn exorbitant sums of money via giving
art
 workshops or publishing them on social media. To continue with, artworks not only serve as a reminder of the culture but
also
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
come in handy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 entertainment purposes. As an illustration,
art
 industries
such
 as Motion Pictures do a great deal to convey
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideas in an entertaining format.
In other words
, if
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 not introduced to the surface of the world,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity would have been restrained from experiencing the true nature of joy and doomed to leading a life of boredom,
therefore
,
art
 is necessary to keep things enjoyable. In a nutshell, people who deny the importance of
art
 are hugely mistaken since
art
 is a significant part of our life which I have highlighted above in detail.
Submitted by elbekgulomov0 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the task prompt are addressed, and provide a clear and well-structured response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and link ideas together cohesively within paragraphs and across paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to include a wider variety of words and phrases.
Grammatical Range
Work on using a variety of complex structures and demonstrate control of grammar and punctuation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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