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Band 3

he figure gives information about smoking habits of the UK population by age. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#figure #information #habits #uk #population #age #features #comparisons
The given line graph illustrates the proportion of individuals, who smoked in three various
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
groups from 1965 to 2015 in the UK.
Overall
, the number of smokers in life groups 36-50 and more than 50
years
 decreased significantly over the period in question,
whereas
 the percentage of adults between 20 and 35
years
 demonstrated a dramatic growth. In more detail, the consumption of cigarettes by the maturity group under 50
years
 equalled 51% at the start of the period.
Then
 it started to go down sharply and reached a low point of 13% in 2015. The index of smokers between the
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of 36 to 50
years
 was almost a third in 1965,
on the
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
 it declined considerably to less than a fifth in 2005,
however
, the figure showed a slight rise to 24 % in 2015.
By contrast
, the index of citizens of the UK who smoked cigarettes was 18% in 1965, it began to rise drastically to 63 %
at the end
 of the period.
Submitted by marynchukangelina on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that you cover all the key aspects of the task, such as summarizing the main features, making comparisons, and reporting the information accurately.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the use of linking words and logical progression of ideas to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more precise and varied lexical items to convey your ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tenses, and accuracy of expression to improve grammatical range.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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