IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts above show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The charts above show the percentage of food budget the average family spent on restaurant meals in different years. The graph shows the number of meals eaten in fast food restaurants and sit-down restaurants. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #food #budget #restaurant #meals #years #restaurants #summarise #data #features #comparisons
The diagrams show the percentage of
food
 expenditures of the average family spent in
restaurants
 in different decades.The other graph gives information about the number of
meals
 eaten in fast
food
 and sit-down
restaurants
.
Totally
Rephrase
In total
show examples
,information is given from 1970 to 2000. Starting with the first pie chart it is evident that more people preferred home cooking rather than going out to cafes because eat percentage of
food
Correct article usage
the food
show examples
 budget spent on
restaurants
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurant
show examples
meals
 was only 10%.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 decade the eating out spends were about 5% more than
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 year of research.In 1990 we can see that
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 in 1990 had sharply grown and was already 35%.In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 10
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 it is obvious that
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
 lasted because home eating took only half of the graph. The second pie chart shows that in 1970 the number of
meals
 eaten both in fast
food
 and sit-down
restaurants
 was equal.
However
,in 1980 the sit-down places had a
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 bigger popularity
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 fast
food
.Despite being second in 1980,
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
show examples
food
 places had sharp
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 and bypassed sit-down
restaurants
.In 2000 the fast
food
meals
 eaten were about 80,
while
 in sit-down
restaurants
 it was a bit less than 50
Submitted by mrtwaterr on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words food, restaurants, meals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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