IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#electricity #power #station #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given diagram display the procedure of how hydroelectric power plant produce electricity.
Overall
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 two modes of operation, which are
day
 mode and night mode that
included
Wrong verb form
include
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 the reversible operation of turbines. First of all,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
water
 source
such
 as a river can be used to fill the dam with
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
 reservoir. During the
day
, the intake gate that can be found at the bottom of the dam will be opened
hence
 making the
water
 flow downhill through the long pipe. As the
water
 moves in the lower place, it will
then
 rotate the turbine to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a mechanical
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
 coming from those
motion
Fix the agreement mistake
motions
show examples
.
Thereafter
 the electricity is generated by
generator
Correct article usage
a generator
show examples
 and
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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 the supply of the national power grid after
going
Verb problem
apply
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passing through the power lines. Meanwhile, during the night, the
water
 that once had been passed the turbine will
then
storaged
Add a missing verb
be storaged
show examples
 at
low-level
Correct article usage
a low-level
show examples
 reservoir before it
finally
Add a missing verb
is finally
show examples
 pumped back uphill by
reversible
Add an article
the reversible
a reversible
show examples
 turbine to the high-level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reservoir. After all of the
water
placed
Add a missing verb
is placed
show examples
 uphill, the intake gate will be closed and opened again the next
day
.
Finally
, all of the steps will be repeated all over again the next
day
 and onwards.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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