IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#electricity #power #station #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given diagram display the procedure of how hydroelectric power plant produce electricity.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 two modes of operation, which are
day
Use synonyms
 mode and night mode that
included
Wrong verb form
include
show examples
 the reversible operation of turbines. First of all,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 source
such
Linking Words
 as a river can be used to fill the dam with
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
 reservoir. During the
day
Use synonyms
, the intake gate that can be found at the bottom of the dam will be opened
hence
Linking Words
 making the
water
Use synonyms
 flow downhill through the long pipe. As the
water
Use synonyms
 moves in the lower place, it will
then
Linking Words
 rotate the turbine to
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a mechanical
enegry
Correct your spelling
energy
 coming from those
motion
Fix the agreement mistake
motions
show examples
.
Thereafter
Linking Words
 the electricity is generated by
generator
Correct article usage
a generator
show examples
 and
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 the supply of the national power grid after
going
Verb problem
apply
show examples
passing through the power lines. Meanwhile, during the night, the
water
Use synonyms
 that once had been passed the turbine will
then
Linking Words
storaged
Add a missing verb
be storaged
show examples
 at
low-level
Correct article usage
a low-level
show examples
 reservoir before it
Linking Words
finally
Add a missing verb
is finally
show examples
 pumped back uphill by
reversible
Add an article
the reversible
a reversible
show examples
 turbine to the high-level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reservoir. After all of the
water
Use synonyms
placed
Add a missing verb
is placed
show examples
 uphill, the intake gate will be closed and opened again the next
day
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, all of the steps will be repeated all over again the next
day
Use synonyms
 and onwards.
Submitted by baitynuris191 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • hydroelectric power station
  • reservoir
  • potential energy
  • mechanical energy
  • electrical energy
  • turbine
  • generator
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • emissions
  • power lines
  • gate-controlled tunnels
  • gravity-driven
  • transformation
  • clean energy source
  • sustainable
  • recycled water
  • mountainous area
  • activate
  • transmit
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