Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #university #college #route #career #job #school

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is believed that there are two feasible routes to move on

your

Change preposition

to your

show examples

academic career. Compared to getting into a

university

Use synonyms

which possibly

raise

Correct subject-verb agreement

raises

show examples

students

Use synonyms

' success, applying for a

job

Use synonyms

after high school graduation benefits

school-leavers

Correct your spelling

school leavers

show examples

to some extent. In my opinion, studying at

university

Use synonyms

place

Correct subject-verb agreement

places

show examples

a firm background for

job

Use synonyms

appliants

Correct your spelling

applicants

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate both viewpoints and

illumiate

Correct your spelling

illuminate

writer's

Correct article usage

the writer's

show examples

opinion. Attending

Change preposition

apply

show examples

university

Use synonyms

could benefit the young in favour of knowledge and promotion.

In other words

Linking Words

Use synonyms

university

Add an article

the university

show examples

provides

students

Use synonyms

with several academic lectures, which acts as a prerequisite for recruitment.

For example

Linking Words

, most of

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

newcomers to John Hunting have a

university

Use synonyms

degree as the first impression to their interviewers.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if young employees have an academic qualification, therein lies a potential promotion, so they can receive more salary.

For instance

Linking Words

, managers in many big companies are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

excellent

graduate

Fix the agreement mistake

graduates

show examples

;

therefore

Linking Words

, they receive a bundle of money to

their

Change the word

the

show examples

best ability. Personally, continuing a study process is a firm foundation for those who long for

reputation

Correct article usage

a reputation

show examples

and

remunerative

Correct article usage

a remunerative

show examples

job

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the appearance of vocational

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

has grown as a recent trend for the young who have no momentum to vie for

university

Use synonyms

. These teenagers’ similarity is to gain work experience sooner than

students

Use synonyms

sitting in a

university

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, they are capable of bearing workplace pressure since they have been working for a long period since the graduation of

students

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, many teenagers choose to work at a

babershop

Correct your spelling

barbershop

barber shop

or business vendor for the ability of endurance. Plus, they create a connection with the community in order to open their friend circle. It is possible to get a

job

Use synonyms

at an early age to expand your friend network since you have to meet other people. Taking some footballers in Vietnam as an example, they do not get into a

university

Use synonyms

yet they improve their

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

skills

Linking Words

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

play for their regional team.

As a result

Linking Words

, they have a multitude of relationships. In conclusion, both

university

Use synonyms

and society could teach you much information and challenge your competency. As an exponent of academic

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

, I ascertain that

university

Use synonyms

plays an essential role in orientation and self-improvement.

Submitted by giacobebao on Tue Nov 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

The essay fails to fully address the given topic. There is a lack of clarity and coherence in the arguments presented, impacting the overall persuasiveness of the essay. The ideas are not fully developed and lack clear reasoning. The essay needs to demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of the topic and provide a stronger argumentative stance.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is limited, resulting in a lack of coherence and cohesion. There is a need for a more systematic and well-organized structure to improve the flow of ideas and the overall clarity of the essay. Additionally, the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for setting the context and summarizing the main points.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in the use of language. There is a need to use a more diverse and accurate range of vocabulary to effectively communicate ideas and arguments. Additionally, the use of idiomatic and collocation phrases is limited, which affects the overall lexical resource of the essay.

Grammatical Range

The essay displays a limited range of grammatical structures, leading to repetitive and simplistic language use. There is a need to use a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex and compound sentences, to enhance the grammatical range. Additionally, errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction impact the overall grammatical accuracy of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Academic qualifications
Specialized skills
In-depth knowledge
Personal growth
Social development
Practical experience
Financial independence
Career progression
Professional networking
Education
Work experience
Successful career
Personal interests
Career goals
Decision-making process

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview
I am writing this letter to apply for a waiter position which has been recently advertised in a local newspaper.
6
band
Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extend do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?
In contemporary society, the disparity of each nation will being obvious due to the diffusion of many categories like films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels which were approached by various users. While some argue that this phenomenon has many disadvantages, I believed that this outweigh any bad c onsequences and discuss this further and provide a concluding view.
4.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people. Why might this be a case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
According to some, if people could buy their own house, it would be better for them. I believe it has some advantages such as individuals don’t have to pay rent monthly and it is not necessary to move to another place every year.
5.5
band
Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today’s climate, the manner of management and making decisions in companies has become a controversial minefield. While a group of people argue that it is better that decision would be made by managers, another group, including me, believes that employees can have a significant role in this process.
7
band
Technological devices are very popular nowadays. Students should be allowed to use mobile phones
In today's world, technological devices are very common among students and they can be used for learning purposes in order to enhance their academic performance. I agree with this view and this essay will provide some evidence to support my opinion. Firstly, I will discuss how technological devices can facilitate students' access to information and communication. Secondly, I will examine the potential drawbacks of using technological devices excessively or inappropriately.

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion

A restaurant has placed an advertisement for waiters and waitresses in your local newspaper. Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: explain what you are currently doing describe your suitability for this area of work say when you can attend an interview

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashions, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extend do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting is very important for people. Why might this be a case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others thing that employee should be involved in the decision-making process too. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Technological devices are very popular nowadays. Students should be allowed to use mobile phones