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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in different areas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the proportions of the world's oil resources held in different areas, together with the proportions consumed annually in the same areas. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
In
this
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
, we see where the different proportions of
oil
Use synonyms
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
 coming from the whole
world
Use synonyms
, are
keepted
Correct your spelling
kept
 in different areas. On the one hand, we can see that the left part of the
chart
Use synonyms
 is the
pourcentages
Correct your spelling
percentage
percentages
 of total
world
Use synonyms
oil
Use synonyms
ressources
Correct your spelling
resources
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main place where the
world
Use synonyms
oil
Use synonyms
 is held, is in the Middle East, with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
56.52% of preserved
oil
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 the second country with the most held
oil
Use synonyms
 is Canada.
However
Linking Words
, after Canada, all the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 countries and continents have
les
Correct your spelling
less
 than 10% of
oil
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side of the
chart
Use synonyms
, we have the
pourcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of total
world
Use synonyms
 annual
oil
Use synonyms
 consumption. Indeed, Asia and the United States are the two places in the
world
Use synonyms
 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
oil
Use synonyms
 consumption is high.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rest of
places
Correct article usage
the places
show examples
 except Western Europe with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
19.24%, have less than a 10% of the use of
oil
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
chart
Use synonyms
 allowed us to see the places with the most
oil
Use synonyms
consumtions
Correct your spelling
consumptions
consumption
annualy
Correct your spelling
annually
 but
also
Linking Words
 where it is the most held.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, oil, world with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportions" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • resources
  • consumption
  • annually
  • regions
  • disparity
  • consumption rates
  • high/low resources
  • global market dynamics
  • geopolitical relations
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