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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in universities in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #universities #countries #effects #society
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Education has always been a prime concern of the world
in
Change preposition
since
show examples
 time immemorial. In the contemporary era, we have available many
subjects
 like
science
, arts and commerce
while
 in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
countries,
students
 do not opt for
science
 courses in universities. From my perceptive, there are many reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 and
this
 may affect society. To commence with. There are enormous causative factors that make the pupils
are not choose
Change the verb form
do not choose
show examples
science
subjects
. First and foremost, some people believe that
this
 course is very hazardous and some
students
 cannot pass
this
 subject as it provides difficult areas
such
 as biology chemistry, physics and
such
.For
examble
Correct your spelling
example
,
examble
Correct your spelling
example
, the
last
accadamic survery
Correct your spelling
academic survey
 published by
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 government that
in
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apply
show examples
around 10% of
scholers
Correct your spelling
scholars
 in
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
science
Add a comma
science,
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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failed.
This
examble
Correct your spelling
example
 highlights,
many
Correct word choice
that many
show examples
students
 are confronted
such
Change preposition
with such
show examples
 difficulty.
Therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, the majority of individuals are not interested
to face
Change preposition
in facing
show examples
 those issues.
Secondly
, The majority of folks are
facsinated
Correct your spelling
fascinated
to
Change preposition
by
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 studying arts courses
such
 as history, economics, and music as well.
For instance
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Madras
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 in India, the
seat
Fix the agreement mistake
seats
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 economics subject were filled very quickly.
This
 example
point
Change the verb form
points
show examples
 out that
students
 who select
stress- free
Correct your spelling
stress-free
show examples
subjects
.
Therefore
, they can more concentrate on their field.
This
 is another reason for
this
 problem. The primary effect
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
is that
this
 would
affact
Correct your spelling
affect
 in each country's economy. One of the predominant
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 availability of professionals in medical areas as doctors, nurses etc. To elucidate it, 'In Canada' there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no medical facilities
due to
do
Verb problem
a lack
show examples
 not
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
doctors and nurses in their destination.
This
 example depicts
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
availabilty
Correct your spelling
availability
 of
science
 field professionals.
Therefore
, it
effect
Verb problem
affects
show examples
 their natives. To recapitulate, Education is a fundamental right of every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
. After their schooling,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 prefer to study their
intreted
Correct your spelling
interested
 subject like history, economics and
such
as well as
 they do not select
stress involved
Add a hyphen
stress-involved
show examples
subjects
. The main reason is that they feel
difficuly
Correct your spelling
difficult
difficulty
 and it
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society harmfully like
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
show examples
 of doctors, engineers and well.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to the disorganized structure of ideas and paragraphs. The introduction and conclusion are partially present, but they lack clarity and effectiveness. The main points lack sufficient supporting details and examples, leading to a lack of clarity and depth in the discussion.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the lack of interest in science subjects and its effects on society. However, the ideas lack clarity and are not well-developed. The examples provided are not relevant and do not effectively support the main points.
lexical resource
The candidate demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and inaccuracies in word choice and expression. There is also a lack of variety in sentence structures, leading to repetitive and awkward phrasing.
grammatical range
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including tense and agreement issues, incorrect word forms, and awkward sentence structures. The errors significantly impact the clarity and coherence of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Lack of interest
  • Motivation
  • Perceived difficulty
  • Career guidance
  • Diverse opportunities
  • Social media influence
  • Trendy fields
  • Outdated curriculum
  • Modern relevance
  • Engagement
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic growth
  • Public health
  • Innovation
  • Sustainability
  • Skilled workforce
  • Knowledge economy
  • Research and development
  • Scientific literacy
  • Global competitiveness
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