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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.

The diagram below shows the average hours of unpaid work per week done by people in different categories. (Unpaid work refers to such activities as childcare in the home, housework and gardening.) Describe the information presented below, comparing results for men and women in the categories shown. Suggest reasons for what you see.
#hours #work #week #people #categories #activities #childcare #home #housework #information #results #men #women
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The
bart
Change the capitalization
Bart
show examples
 chart
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the comparison of
avarage
Correct your spelling
average
 hours between people in
marriage
Replace the word
married
show examples
 life
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as household activities per week.
Overall
Linking Words
, it
is explaining
Wrong verb form
explains
show examples
 that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 who do the activities is higher than the
Use synonyms
men
Correct quantifier usage
number of men
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 whether they have
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
 or not. The more and more
children
Use synonyms
 they have, the higher and higher per
cen
Correct your spelling
cent
 of
women
Use synonyms
 who do the
work
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
men
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 getting less and less. When people enter
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marriage life, they usually
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborate
show examples
for finishing
Change preposition
to finish
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household tasks.
A
Correct article usage
The
show examples
 data shows that
women
Use synonyms
 in
Add an article
a relationship
the relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
 without any
children
Use synonyms
 do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
houseworks
Correct your spelling
housework
 around 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the population
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 whose
number
Use synonyms
 of doing
work
Use synonyms
 is under 20%. The
number
Use synonyms
 increases as many as the
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 above three which
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 60% of
women
Use synonyms
 who do the
work
Use synonyms
. The data shows
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 different trend between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 seems the
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 is decreasing
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the more kids they have.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Men
Use synonyms
 who
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have
children
Use synonyms
 only reach under 19% population who do the
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 with many
children
Use synonyms
 above 3 reach 17% of the population.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, women, men, children, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • diagram
  • unpaid work
  • categories
  • average hours
  • men
  • women
  • comparison
  • overview
  • highest
  • differences
  • reasons
  • childcare
  • housework
  • gardening
  • gender roles
  • societal expectations
  • cultural norms
  • work-life balance
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