The luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life prevent people from developing into truly strong and independent individuals. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.
Families’ dynamics and nurturing
styles
mostly impacted
Wrong verb form
impact
on
how their kids behave in response to living independently. I strongly believe that Change preposition
apply
people
who come from a high standard
lifestyle and Add a hyphen
high-standard
their
parents have a tendency to spoil them Correct pronoun usage
whose
are
usually not Verb problem
apply
having
survival skills. Wrong verb form
have
However
, there are also
several factors which make those people
become an outlier and are able to build their lives by themselves without help from their family in this
case—specifically due to
their household dynamics.
To begin
, parenting styles
are becoming a prominent factor that should be considered in order to analyze people
’s behavior
, specifically in their transformation stage from teenager to early adult. It is a fact that the early adulting phase is the critical stage for everyone in terms of responsibilities. Having their first job, living paycheck to paycheck, deciding whether they should pursue a higher degree or create a new business—these are common things in a young adult’s Change the spelling
behaviour
life
. In 2019, a group of psychologists at the University of Indonesia conducted research regarding the correlation between parenting styles
, household income, and mental health conditions. The result showed that most people
who are coming
from Wrong verb form
come
upper
economic class and Add an article
the upper
always
provided with conveniences by their parents are lacking in survival skills. Most of them experienced burnout after graduation, specifically when they needed to search for a new job. They did not know how to navigate their lives without the guidance and privileges facilitated by their family.
Add a missing verb
are always
However
, there are also
several conditions where the
luxuries and conveniences are helping Correct article usage
apply
people
to survive and have a good sense of survival in life
. For instance
, in a Chinese family household, their parents usually teach them how to manage a business and generate money at a very young age. Most of them have a
privilege Correct article usage
the
in
having Change preposition
of
first hand
experience from their family businesses. Add a hyphen
first-hand
Therefore
, they are influenced by a strong principle that to gain a better quality of life
, they need to work hard. Thus
, this
golden experience has developed them to be strong and independent adults in the near future. However
, this
is an outlier case and mostly has a strong link with culture and parenting style. In many cases, high income
status families mostly have a tendency to shower their kids with privileges and leave them innocent about how difficult Add a hyphen
high-income
life
is.
In conclusion, I believe that privileges and conveniences are becoming a cogent reason for people
lacking in
survival skills–specifically when entering the early adulthood phase. Change preposition
apply
However
, it should be highlighted that it is not the single reason. Parenting styles
play a vital role in how people
can have a strong character in surviving.Submitted by floriehendr on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Ensure that each body paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument and provides sufficient evidence to support the points made.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied expressions to better convey your ideas and arguments.
grammatical range
Work on using a wider range of complex sentence structures and pay attention to subject-verb agreement and punctuation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!