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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

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Some individuals think that it
it
Correct your spelling
is
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 important to add physical
education
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lessons
Use synonyms
 in the student's schedule for all
school
Use synonyms
-age kids. Others believe that it is better that children spend more time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic courses. In my opinion, I agree that
lessons
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 related to physical
education
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 are important and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be provided in all schools.
However
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, the main focus of schools must be teaching the academic subjects. Teaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
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young students about physical
education
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 will impact their health in the future. Especially in
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 time where children spend more time using phones
rather
Rephrase
apply
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than doing physical activities.
Therefore
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, focusing
in
Change preposition
on
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 teaching these kinds of
lessons
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 will prevent the kids from getting health issues in the future.
For example
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,
USA
Correct your spelling
US
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 schools have
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 one lesson
of
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in
show examples
 physical
education
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, and the
outcomes
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outcome
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 is the students are more aware of health issues and the activities which prevent these diseases. The main focus of
school
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 should always be teaching sciences
for
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to
show examples
 all ages of learners.
Thats
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That's
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 because learning science courses will boost the
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of the child and their brain will function effectively.
For example
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia
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school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 focused on
the
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apply
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science subjects,
the
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and the
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 results that teens found university much easier
due to
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 the amount of knowledge they gained from learning the academic courses in
school
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. In conclusion, I agree that physical
lessons
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 are essential and every
school
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 should teach
it
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them
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.
Nonetheless
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, the main focus of
school
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 should remain the same which is teaching academic subjects
due to
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 its impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the knowledge of the child.

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task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt, presenting a clear opinion and relevant supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay in a more cohesive and logical manner. Use appropriate transition words to connect ideas and ensure a clear introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more precise and varied language to express ideas and support arguments.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and use a wider range of grammatical structures to demonstrate control of the language.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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