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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is essential to include Physical Education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children’s time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both views and give our own opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #children’s #time #subjects
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Some individuals think that it
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 important to add physical
education
lessons
 in the student's schedule for all
school
-age kids. Others believe that it is better that children spend more time in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic courses. In my opinion, I agree that
lessons
 related to physical
education
 are important and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be provided in all schools.
However
, the main focus of schools must be teaching the academic subjects. Teaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young students about physical
education
 will impact their health in the future. Especially in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 time where children spend more time using phones
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than doing physical activities.
Therefore
, focusing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 teaching these kinds of
lessons
 will prevent the kids from getting health issues in the future.
For example
,
USA
Correct your spelling
US
show examples
 schools have
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 one lesson
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 physical
education
, and the
outcomes
Fix the agreement mistake
outcome
show examples
 is the students are more aware of health issues and the activities which prevent these diseases. The main focus of
school
 should always be teaching sciences
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 all ages of learners.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That's
show examples
 because learning science courses will boost the
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 of the child and their brain will function effectively.
For example
, Saudi Arabia
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 focused on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science subjects,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 results that teens found university much easier
due to
 the amount of knowledge they gained from learning the academic courses in
school
. In conclusion, I agree that physical
lessons
 are essential and every
school
 should teach
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, the main focus of
school
 should remain the same which is teaching academic subjects
due to
 its impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the knowledge of the child.
Submitted by ibrakh80 on

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lexical resource
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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