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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given line graph illustrates the average data of a museum tourists in both summer and winter in the year 2003. Overall, it is observed that during summer, the museum had many visitors compared to winter. To begin with, the highest visits recorded were of about 1600 people to the museum at 12noon during the hot weather which declined to 800 people at 4pm. Whereas in winter about 500 visitors came at 10am which somewhat fluctuate till 12 noon. However, there was massive declined during the winter at 12noon till around 2pm whereas there was no visitors recorded from 2pm till 6pm unlike during summer, the downward trend was only from 4pm and there was no record of no visitors.

The given line graph illustrates the average data of a museum tourists in both summer and winter in the year 2003. Overall, it is observed that during summer, the museum had many visitors compared to winter. To begin with, the highest visits recorded were of about 1600 people to the museum at 12noon during the hot weather which declined to 800 people at 4pm. Whereas in winter about 500 visitors came at 10am which somewhat fluctuate till 12 noon. However, there was massive declined during the winter at 12noon till around 2pm whereas there was no visitors recorded from 2pm till 6pm unlike during summer, the downward trend was only from 4pm and there was no record of no visitors.
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The line chart compares the average number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the United Kingdom who visited the museum in two seasons,
summer
Use synonyms
 and winter, in 2003. In general, the total number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in the
summer
Use synonyms
 was always higher than in the winter. The
trend
Use synonyms
 was gradually increased until 12
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
. After 12
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
., the chart shows a decreasing
trend
Use synonyms
 in both seasons. In
summer
Use synonyms
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 showed a significant rise in
visitors
Use synonyms
 until 10 a.
m
Use synonyms
. The highest peak was between 11 a.
m
Use synonyms
. and 12
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
., with around 1500
visitors
Use synonyms
. After 12
Use synonyms
p.
Correct your spelling
p.m.
m
Use synonyms
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 started decreasing gradually.
Similarly
Linking Words
 to
summer
Use synonyms
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 in winter
showeds
Correct your spelling
showed
shows
 a significant increase from 0 to 500
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 10 a.
m
Use synonyms
. The highest number of
visitors
Use synonyms
 was 600 people and happened between 11 a.
m
Use synonyms
. and 12
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
. From 12
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
. to 2
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
., the
trend
Use synonyms
 started decreasing, and there was no visitor after 2
p
Use synonyms
.
m
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, summer, trend, p, m with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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