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Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes,

The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes,
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The given diagrams illustrate the way in which
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is made and used to make concentrate for manufacturing purposes. It is apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

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 limestone and clay pass through four stages before being bagged and ready to use as
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, after which 15% of
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is used for making compound concrete.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 production consists of several stages and tools, concrete production requires only one stage and one tool, a concrete mixer. In the first stage of making
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, limestone and clay are crushed together to form powder.
Next,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the resulting powder is sent through the mixer before entering a rotating heater with constant heat applied at one end of the tube. After heated, the material is poured into the grinder and after that
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 is ready to package. In terms of concrete production, the main material is gravel, which is small stones, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 makes up exactly half of the ingredients, 50%. The other materials used are sand (25%),
cement
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 (15%), and water (10%). All the materials are poured into the concrete mixer until all of them are combined and the concrete is ready to use for building purposes.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quarrying
  • crushing
  • mixing
  • grinding
  • kiln
  • clinker
  • gypsum
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • concrete
  • building materials
  • limestone
  • clay
  • fine powder
  • rotating
  • cooling
  • hydration
  • aggregate
  • compression
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