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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The plans
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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 a Centra Library two decades ago and changes that have been made to it today.
Overall
Linking Words
 , from the maps, It can be noticeable that most of the sections have been replaced, like the corner for multimedia ,one of the areas for adult
books
Use synonyms
 and the reading
room
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 more furniture ,
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children
Change noun form
children's
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books
Use synonyms
 , inquiry desks and machines have been installed at different locations in the
room
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 with more space in the centre of the library , where tables and chairs were originally located. The area 20 years ago,had a section for motion media on the left side,
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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 stories
to
Change preposition
in
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 the upper right corner and some adult fiction materials on either side of the
room
Use synonyms
, in
this
Linking Words
 same way, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 some furniture in the centre some space on either
sides
Change to a singular noun
side
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 of the entrance for print media and an enquiry desk. Today,one of the adult corners
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been replaced with a reference area
while
Linking Words
 on the other side, there happens to be machines and an information desk because the enquiry desk was substituted with a Cafe. To the left of the cafe,there is a newly built computer
room
Use synonyms
 and a lecture
room
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the same site
wehere
Correct your spelling
where
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
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books
Use synonyms
 were originally situated. At the left top corner of the facility,a place for
children
Use synonyms
's
books
Use synonyms
,storytelling events and more sofas have been placed but the centre is now left empty.
Submitted by annodunowo on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, room, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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