IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The diagram below represents a survey on whether consumers would actually consider buying cars from tech companies such as Apple & Google. Summarise the information given in the diagram. Write at least 150 words.

The diagram below represents a survey on whether consumers would actually consider buying cars from tech companies such as Apple & Google. Summarise the information given in the diagram. Write at least 150 words.
#survey #consumers #cars #tech #companies #apple #google #summarise #information
The bar chart presents the data
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
 a survey on whether consumers would consider buying cars from tech companies like Apple &
Google
Correct word choice
and Google
show examples
 comparing the numbers
acrross
Correct your spelling
across
 different countries and age groups. The percentage
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 willing to switch their cars is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 for the Indian market
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 81 per cent. Following
that is
 China at 74% and Brazil at 63% There is a dramatic decline in the trend with France at 38%.
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
show examples
 Germany,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 are at the down low with 32%, 29% and 26% respectively. About 65% of the
people
 are 18-to 34-year-olds
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
 to 49% for
people
 aged between 35 to 49. Around 26% of
people
 are over the age of 50.
Additionally
Add a comma
Additionally,
show examples
 there are 7553
constomers
Correct your spelling
consumers
customers
 from 7 countries that are planning to buy or rent a car in the following year
that is
, 2015. In Summary, the Indian market has the highest scope of cars being bought from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tech companies, for
people
 who are mostly between the age group of 18 to 34.
Submitted by usachalo24 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: