Some people say that governments should pay for public health care and education, while others say that it is not the government’s responsibility. Please discuss both views and give your opinion.

Recently, there has been a contentious subject about
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
responsibility in both medical and educational fields.
Although
numerous residents believe that universal
education
and state-funded
healthcare
systems are essential and important, a contrary school of thought holds that they can be problematic in multiple ways.
This
essay will analyze
this
debatable topic, with relevant rationale,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
suggest my own perspective
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
controversy. On the one hand, it is undeniable that publicly fun
services
provide a myriad of benefits.
Firstly
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the introduction of subsidization for
healthcare
and
education
creates equity for the public
services
across social classes. In reality, wealthy people tend to have better experiences when getting medical
services
, indicating an inegalitarian society, where human rights are of inferior importance. Not only do the stated-funded
services
alleviate the socioeconomic disparity
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
they
also
offer people higher living qualities. The presence of universal
healthcare
and
education
programs provides the mass public with valuable welfare and opportunities to enhance their
quality
of life.
As a result
, there are fewer challenges and hardships for the underprivileged. Ultimately, many social benefits result from extensive state investment
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
public
education
and
healthcare
.
On the other hand
, universal
services
have been responsible for many troubling phenomena. In densely populated areas, the
quality
of medical and educational
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
is vulnerable to deterioration as their capacity becomes overwhelmed. Under the universal coverage scheme,
quality
is unfortunately compromised, leading to problems
such
as excessive waiting time for medical care or overcrowded classrooms. Not only do universal
services
tremendously harm the
quality
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
also
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
to unpleasant impacts related to employment. Evidently, both medicine and
education
fields are
labor-intensive
Change the spelling
labour-intensive
show examples
,
thus
requiring a great wage expenditure, which may be limited under universal schemes.
Consequently
, medical and educational institutes may be understaffed and underpay their employees.
To sum up
, I conceive that state-funded
services
possess numerous benefits, which strongly overshadow the downsides. Yet, in order to implement these programs effectively, progressive policies need to be introduced to address the issue related to staffing and
quality
decline.
Submitted by baonguyen9406n on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
In the introductory paragraph, clearly state your opinion as the prompt requires a discussion and your viewpoint.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your arguments and enhance the essay's persuasive power.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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