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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)

The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by level of education for the years 2002 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. (20 mins.)
#graphs #information #computer #ownership #percentage #population #level #education #years #summarise #features #comparisons #mins
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In the present day,
computers
Use synonyms
 are an important tool to help almost everyone in the world to do many things
such
Linking Words
 as studying at home, going online to meet new friends, enjoying online movies etc.
These
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
 graphs above explain information about
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 2002 and 2010
include
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
percentage
Add an article
a percentage
the percentage
show examples
 of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 and
impact
Correct article usage
the impact
show examples
 of
computers
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 education
about
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 first
graph
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
explains the percentage of
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
 from 2002 to 2010.
This
Linking Words
graph
Use synonyms
 is constantly increasing
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 per year.
In
Change preposition
From
show examples
 2002 to 2010,
this
Linking Words
 percentage of
Use synonyms
graph
Correct article usage
the graph
show examples
 explains 55, 60, 65, 70 and 75
percent
Use synonyms
 in sequence.
Meaning
Wrong verb form
This means
show examples
 that many
people
Use synonyms
 must use
computers
Use synonyms
 in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more than before. In the second
graph
Use synonyms
, it explains that
people
Use synonyms
 in 2010 owned
computers
Use synonyms
 more than in 2002. The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows that
people
Use synonyms
 in college (incomplete) are the highest
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of differentiation but in postgraduate is the lowest
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of differentiation. In summary, these
overall
Linking Words
 graphs show that
computer
Use synonyms
ownership
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
increasing
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
along
Change preposition
over
show examples
 that time and in studying
people
Use synonyms
 are
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
increasing than working
people
Use synonyms
. That implies the
computer
Use synonyms
 is a fundamental tool of education.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words computers, computer, ownership, graph, percent, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "explain" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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